Woman Sparks Debate Saying Father-In-Law 'Could Starve' As She Refused To Serve Him Dinner

Jul 31, 2023 by apost team

Marriage is a union between two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together. The foundations of marriage are built on love, trust, companionship, and friendship. When two people marry, they adopt the family members of their partners as their own and refer to them as in-laws. Naturally, the love the couple shares for each other reflects in their acceptance of their extended family.

While couples are expected to blend in smoothly with their in-laws, that is not always the case. Although some couples manage to do it seamlessly, others struggle with it for one reason or another. It is not always easy to relate to people who share varying beliefs, cultures, and life values than you have become accustomed to through the course of your life, and as a result, a lot of friction could exist between a person and their in-laws. 

Conflicts between couples and their in-laws are common and happen worldwide. The relationship a person has with their in-laws might be tricky. Still, the relationship they build before marriage goes a long way toward determining the dynamics of their relationship after. In a 2012 study by Purdue University, it was revealed that parties with positive feelings toward their in-laws became stronger following marriage, while those with negative feelings only worsened. 

One such tense person-to-in-law relationship was shared by a Reddit user on the platform in August 2022. The Redditor narrated her experience with her father-in-law at a family dinner. Continue reading to find out what transpired between the woman and her father-in-law.

A Reddit user who refused to serve her father-in-law at a family dinner took to the platform to discuss the matter with fellow Redditors. She explained that she and her husband had hosted a family dinner to announce their pregnancy, highlighting that the relationship between her husband and his father wasn’t exactly cordial. She also stated that they had differing beliefs regarding who served at the table.

“My FIL is the type of person that still thinks women should serve men at dinning times (like, he has to be served first because he's the breadwinner and s*** like that), we usually don't care since we mostly ignore them, however this time my family was present,” she wrote.

Further into the post, she stated that she and her husband had cooked to the preference of their guests. However, the first sign of trouble started when her father-in-law was turned down for wanting to sit in the head chair reserved for her. The second issue was her main reason for the post. 

“The second problem and the cause of all of this is that everyone was kinda serving themselves, however my dad has a damaged nerve on his right hand and he struggles when holding spoons/forks and such, so I offered to serve him his plate while my sister served him his drink and then we all sat to eat and chat.”

Her father-in-law questioned, "Is no one going to serve me my plate?'' OP's husband said, ''No, we don't do that here??" The father-in-law insisted that it should be done by the original poster (OP). When OP declined, her father-in-law stated that he wouldn't eat, and her response prompted her parents-in-law to exit the dinner.

“I just shrugged and said that he could starve and I didn't cared," she said.

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Most of the readers on the platform sided with OP, who "didn't care" about the drama, stating that she wasn’t at fault since she didn’t instigate the issue.

“NTA You didn’t instigate the situation. He was being ridiculous and you declined to entertain his behaviour,” one user wrote.

“You didn't rock the boat OP. You just refused to steady the boat like all the people who cater to his demands and drama to "keep the peace." Good for you!” another wrote.

“Of course it was 'disrespectful,' does he expect respect when he’s so anal? Spoiler, of course not. Does that make you an ass****? NTA,” a third user commented. “When I still regularly saw my extended family, it’s always one of the older males who did the carving and the serving. Mostly (with notable exceptions, like me and my cousin) it was the ladies who cooked and the men who carried stuff around and served. Grandpa only stopped when he had difficulty walking. When we had logistical problems we had stuff catered,” the user added.

“Nta,” another person commented. “Your father in law needs to know not everyone follows his sexist views. And in someone else's home he doesn't get to act that way. If his own wife wants to be his servant that's her choice. In your home you make the call. And his attitude is messed up. You need to make sure he doesn't treat you the same way he treats his wife.”

“NTA,” commented yet another Redditor. “Your father is too kind. It was a very good way to set boundaries. Good thing your husband is by your side. Your poor MIL, what a life she has :/.”

What do you think of the Redditor refusing to serve her father-in-law a plate? What would you do if you were in her position? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members, and other people you think would have an answer!