Woman Slammed As ‘Heartless’ For Forbidding Husband From Attending His Ex-Wife’s Funeral

Dec 23, 2022 by apost team

One woman found herself in hot soup when she took her situation with her husband to the online community and found herself at the sharp end of their wrath.

It all began when the original poster going by the handle u/aita_husband_deadex took to an online forum to get more objective views about the situation she was facing. She started by explaining that her husband had been married before, but that they had stayed close friends even after their divorce. 

“The way he tells it: They were friends in college, decided to date, got married, then realized they weren’t a great couple and decided to just be friends. All that happened years before I met him. He was clear early on that she was ‘important,’” the woman wrote of her husband. She then went on to say that, at the start, she hadn’t even been aware that he had even been married to her.

“A couple months into dating, it came up that his friend was actually his ex-wife. He explained the above to me, saying she was one of his closest friends and that it was purely platonic. I expressed some discomfort at him being so close to an ex, and he told me ‘That’s fine. If you have a serious issue with it, let me know now and save us some time. I’ll choose her. I like you and all, but I’ve known her for over 12 years and she’s one of the most important people in my life. You’ll have to be ok with that if you want us to be a thing.’ When we were engaged I asked again. He gave me this perplexed look & asked “Why would us getting married affect my friendships?” I sucked it up & went along,” she wrote. 

In the post uploaded to Reddit on Dec. 19, 2022, the woman went on to describe the upsetting development that had hit her husband hard. She said after a lunch between the ex and her husband, the woman had suffered an aneurysm and died on the way to the car.

“He spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly I was relieved,” the woman wrote, adding she had never been a fan of their friendship. 

“I resented every moment of knowing her, especially when we had to be social. She understood some part of him I couldn’t. Her husband was friends with mine as well, so it’s not like I could use him as an angle. He’d have lunch with the ex, they’d go to their geeky movies, and whatever. The few times I brought it up he said ‘We had this conversation before. You had your chance to back out,’” she wrote.

Things took a turn for the worst when the woman found her husband helping out with funeral arrangements, asking him “You don’t think you’re going, do you?” She wrote: “My argument, summed up: She’s dead, so she’s not a factor anymore. He doesn’t get to use his ’she’s my friend’ excuse since she doesn’t exist anymore. He had his cry for a couple days, he gets to be done with mourning her already. There’s no need for him to go to her funeral, since I wouldn’t want her at his.” 

This did not go well with the husband. “He was the angriest I’ve ever seen him when I told him that, replying that he’ll be going no matter how I feel, and that he’s ‘willing to burn this to the f******g ground” while holding up his wedding band,” she added. 

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The woman went on to write that her husband, the husband of his dead ex, and her sisters were “calling me an insensitive a*****e over this… & that I’m heartless. Her husband went so far as calling me a ‘ghoul’ for how I’ve reacted.” In asking the community whether asking her husband not to go to the funeral was wrong, she also explained she “never felt their relationship was appropriate.”

However, if it was sympathy the woman was looking for, she found none of it on Reddit. Instead, comments flooded in to slam her “heartless” and “cold” behavior.

“This is one of the most disgusting displays of inhumanity I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. Her husband is a better man than most for only calling you a ghoul,” one comment read.

Another wrote: “You are jealous of a dead woman. A dead woman who was your husband’s close friend and confidant for years, and you did know it right off the bat. You can’t even give him a chance of closure? And it’s not up to you to decide when he is done with mourning. Keep up being jealous of her, and you will find yourself to be his ex-wife as well.”

“He laid his cards on the table and gave you a chance to back out of the relationship if that was an issue you couldn’t get over, so why didn’t you in the beginning?! You seem so heartless,” one reader wrote.

Others warned her about what would likely happen should she continue to act in this manner toward her husband.

“When he leaves you, don’t act shocked, because he just lost his best friend and all you can think about is you and your very immature and outrageous jealousy,” a comment read.

Do you think the woman’s behavior toward her husband is justified? Should the husband be allowed to go to his ex-wife’s funeral? Let us know your thoughts and be sure to pass this on to family and friends to get their take on the situation, too.