Woman Refuses To Be Her Sick Mom's Liver Donor After She Spent '17 Years Bullying' Her

Sep 13, 2023 by apost team

It is important that parents express an unfettered show of love, support and care towards their children to maintain a healthy relationship. This way, the possibility of a close-knit relationship is high when their children grow older. 

However, when these three forms of affection are either absent or stunted during a child's formative and teenage years, it could lead to a complicated parent-child relationship later in life. 

Reddit user PlasticCaterpillar6 couldn't agree anymore with this notion, as in 2020 she faced a significant family drama regarding her mom. She opened up to the R/RaisedByNarcissists subreddit and delved into the toxic environment in which she was raised and how she was later needed in that same environment. 

The Redditor's mom required a liver transplant surgery, and she was a potential donor. However, the woman held back due to her traumatic childhood. The original poster (OP) started by sharing a backstory of life with her mom before her health deteriorated. She began:

"When I was a kid, my mom was a pretty awful parent to me and my siblings. Resentful, a bit of a bully, never hugged any of us and mainly told us how we ruined her life." 

Due to her mom's hostility and their unstable home, the Redditor left home at 17 to "keep my sanity." When the OP wrote this story, she was 28 years old, and after moving out of the house, she didn't have much of a relationship with her mother. The OP had explained that her mother "never once admitted that she had done some really f***ed up sh*t to us."

The Redditor continued her story by writing about her siblings. She noted that her sister was married with two kids, while her brother was divorced with three kids. After sharing that bit, she opened up on the subject of contention. The OP then wrote about what led to the situation of her declining to give her mom a part of her liver. The Reddit lady wrote:

"I got a call from the hospital, that my mom managed to drink her liver out of order and need a transplant. All of us siblings were found to be a match. My sister and brother, once they realized that cutting out a part of your liver (isn't) risk free, backed out."

That left her as the only option. The OP continued her story by explaining how she had a medical issue that would complicate her health if she followed through with the surgery. She explained:

"I was told I have something called Situs inversus, meaning my organs are abnormally placed, and that it would make the risk of surgery higher for me. 4% risk of death within two weeks of surgery, and higher risk of other awful shit happening. And of course, a 100% guarantee that my mother will drink that liver away too."

Even with her health risk, the doctor and her family members were insisting she donate a part of her liver. They all felt she had nothing to lose. The Redditor wrote:

"Now EVERYONE, the doctor, my mom, my siblings, everyone, is telling me I should do it, because I don't have kids, so who cares if the risk is high."

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The OP wrote that her family did not care that she was living her life and doing well for herself. The Redditor continued by expressing her anger about the situation:

"And my mom, who never cared if I lived or died, suddenly thinks she deserves my liver because she gave birth to me. The fact that she then spent 17 years bullying me is irrelevant because faaaamily ..." 

She explained how her mother gave her "two fractured ribs" and at one time locked her out of the house "in the middle of winter, and I had to smash a window with my hand to get in."

The OP was also angered by how the doctor dismissed her and told her to prioritize her mother's health because she would not "risk leaving children behind." 

The Redditor thought her mother had turned a new leaf but was disappointed to find out otherwise when she told her:

 “I gave you life, you should do the same for me, after all I gave you my best years, raising you was no joke!” 

The woman explained how she planned on heading back to her home that night and perhaps wouldn't even answer the phone when the doctor called to hear her decision.

Many Reddit members were astonished. One user commented, "How outrageous for that doctor to suggest that your life has any less value than your siblings just because you don't have children." 

Another user wrote, "Consider reporting the doctor to the medical board where he practices." A third user wrote: "Do not give that woman your liver. Your life is still worth living fully with or without kids, you are not less of a human because you don't want kids." 

One person commented, "Why should you suffer health risks because of your mom's poor choices?" An impressed Redditor applauded the OP, "It's always great to hear that another person got out from an abusive situation and made a good life for themselves." 

What are your thoughts on the Redditor's stance against being pressured into the risky surgery? Could her family members have handled it better? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to others.