These Are The 3 Things You Should Never, Ever Forget When You're Falling In Love

Jun 13, 2018 by apost team

You’re falling in love with someone and life couldn’t be more terrifyingly exhilarating. You’re head is on cloud nine because this mate couldn’t be more ideal in your mind, but you’re heart is still holding back in fear that your brain has gone cuckoo. Does your heart have a point? 

It’s a question asked of every relationship expert on the planet - “ I think I’m in love, BUT...” You can fill in the blank with anything from nervous to afraid. While some may mistakenly equate the ‘but’ as being indicative of the relationship not being love, the truth is that there’s a very good reason for that ‘but’ when you’re falling in love with someone new. That’s what keeps you grounded. 

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New love means your brain is engulfed in happy hormones and endorphins. It’s a natural chemical high that makes some people suddenly feel invincible, anxious, excited, overwhelmed, and even lost. And, your mindset is ping-ponging around every facet of the relationship from if you’re being too clingy and dissecting the true meaning behind an emoji he/she texted you to what color the first kid’s hair will be and what you’ll wear on the first couple vacation. No wonder love and crazy are on the same wavelength, right? 

That ‘but’ is there to try to keep your heart rooted in reality as your brain and hormones go about some cloud gymnastics. So, without ado, here are three big ‘buts’ you should not deny as you’re falling in love. 

It’s natural for the excitement of transitioning to a new phase of life to distract your thoughts. You think about the person constantly, and that’s completely okay. Allow yourself to be giddy, silly, joyful, and even distracted, but just not to the point you trip over all the excitement on the floor. Each emotion is there for a purpose. That purpose is to signal this person has the potential to be the one. Feel it all without trying to rationalize or analyze it, but also don’t place rose-colored glasses on it either. Life itself will weed out the temporary excitement of a potential love from the longevity of the real deal. 

Excitement is often naturally accompanied by anxiety. It’s that nervousness over putting yourself out there, if the person is too good to be true, if they feel the same, and all the other what ifs that can’t be answered without risk. Denying these anxieties is asking for disaster. Anxiety is there to both look out for you and allow you to see that certain rewards are worth the risks involved. Welcome that anxiety as part of discovering and vetting new love, but there comes a time where it also has to be let go of in a relationship so that a foundation of mutual respect and trust can be built. 

A new love emerges and some people will drop everything and everyone almost completely from their lives to spend every second of every day with their new love. This takes relationship building to the extreme, and it’s not healthy for either partner. Humans are not designed to only eat one food source any more than they’re designed to draw happiness from only one source.

Your love should add value, happiness, fulfillment, and contentment to your existing life, not become your life. Otherwise, the road leads to identity crisis and resentment from both partners. Spend as much time together as you want, but do make sure that your lives do not become so codependent that you neglect everything and everyone else.

Is you or someone you know newly in love? Warn them not to forget these three things by showing them this article!