Son Expects He Can Freeload Off His Parents After Moving Back In With Them – Flips Out After Dad Introduces New Rules
Sep 22, 2021 by apost team
Being a parent to an adult can be difficult to adjust to. The situation requires a new set of boundaries, but making those lines clear can be an uncomfortable task. A father is angry after his son Chris, 23, refuses to do chores and help around the house after moving back in post-college. The dad said that his son used to live on his own, but could no longer afford his rent.
Since Chris has moved back home he is unemployed and has not been contributing to housework, and even complains about what he gets to eat for lunch and dinner. His father has had enough of this behavior so he made some new rules for Chris to follow. These rules included: doing your own laundry and dishes, accepting the food you are offered, limited wifi hours and no streaming subscriptions like Netflix.
After Chris heard these rules he lost it. He called for his mother to come to his defense, and now there is a major argument amongst the entire family. Chris’s mom says that her husband will regret his choice because when his son eventually moves out he probably won’t want to speak to him. This comment made the father question if he had made the right choice introducing the rules.
He went on Reddit to ask other users for their opinions on if he made the right decision, or if he was in the wrong. The majority of commenters agreed with the dad’s rules and had some choice words for his “lazy” son. Keep reading to learn more about this story and to see the reader’s reactions.
The father started off his post by explaining that his son said he was only planning on staying with them for a short time. “He said it was temporary but he's been here for 4 months and that's not what bothers me but the fact that he adds to our expenses and hasn't started working and doesn't help in any capacity, In other words, he's become a burden,” Chris’s dad wrote.
After explaining all of the new rules, the father said Chris was in disbelief. “He kept laughing as I read him the rules,” the dad explained. “This was it for Chris, he blew up complaining about how ridiculous and unfair my rules were and reminded me he's not a child anymore but I told him a child or not, as long as he lives under my roof then he's expected to follow the owner's rules.”
The son decided to get his mother involved. The father wrote, “My wife argued with me and I asked her if she was okay with Chris recklessly increasing our bills and spending so much of our money on lavish stuff while doing nothing in return. She blew up telling me to get rid of these unreasonable rules and that I should be ashamed of myself for treating my own son as an unwanted guest.”
The dad also mentioned that he has a daughter, Chris’s younger sister, for whom he needs to set a good example. The father said, “Plus what does this teach our daughter? That it's okay to be a lazy and irresponsible adult. She (the mother) finished by saying I shouldn't be surprised if he no longer speaks to me after he moves out eventually.”
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Certified relationship and life coach, Alex Scot, gave her advice on handling these types of arguments within families. She said, “For example, if you want the child to become better at picking up after themselves and you happen to catch them putting their plate in the sink or taking their laundry from the floor to the laundry room, give them some praise, ‘Thank you for putting your plate in the sink!'”
Scot added: “It’s also important to note that children will do what you demonstrate to them more often than what you tell them to do. So leading by example is very important and that stems from things like taking responsibility, apologizing, and even healthy habits like nutrition and working out. If it’s an adult child, lean on setting boundaries and expectations, but keep in mind that positive reinforcement and demonstrating to them what you’d like is still applicable.”
The users on Reddit who commented on the father’s post did not hold back with their criticism of Chris. The majority of people sided with the dad and felt that the son should shape up. “Don’t want to be treated like a child? Don’t live like one,” wrote one person.
Another person commented: “Exactly this if it was my kid and this was happening, he’s out the door. Like oh no you have to clean and spend an extra 50 bucks a month on Hulu and other streaming services. Like, be grateful you’re living there FREE. Clown, he’s a clown.”
The dad ended his post with one key piece of information. He wrote, “Important to mention that I'm the breadwinner for our entire household but I don't mention this a lot since we're family and this is our money.”
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/pixdeluxeWho do you think was right in this situation? Are the new rules too strict? Let us know and be sure to pass this along to your friends and family.