Science Explains Why You Shouldn't Stay Friends With An Ex

Feb 23, 2018 by apost team

When people break up, one of them might tell the other that they'd still like to be friends. Being friends with your ex can be really awkward and difficult, and psychologists have been studying why certain people exhibit this behavior and their results are shocking. 

A study conducted by scientists at Oakland University discovered that a surprisingly high number of people who tried to remain friends with their exes after a break-up possessed certain bad personality traits, did it for selfish reasons, and used it as a form of manipulation.

Basically, staying friends with your ex means you may be selfish and manipulative.

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The study also found that the people who wanted to stay friends with exes did so for practical and sexual reasons. The couple could have shared a phone plan or bank account, or may be feeling lonely and is comfortable with being intimate with their ex. 

In the end, they stay "friends" not because they care about the other person, but rather for selfish reasons. 
 

This person wants to use their ex for something and feel in control, which is a form of narcissism. A narcissist would rather cling to the dead relationship so they don't feel like they've "lost." It feels better for this type of person to hold on to their ex partner and decide what they use them for and when to maintain control, which makes them feel like they "win" the breakup. 

Selfish people can't stand the thought of their ex being with another person, and do everything in their power to make sure it doesn't happen. The idea of their ex regaining complete control of their life without them in the picture is a nightmare for people with manipulative and narcissistic tendencies, which is why they will try to further their relationship with their ex. 

Experts have long warned against being friends with your ex, and sometimes it can be tough if you were friends before the relationship started. In the end, remaining friends isn't a good thing and is actually harmful for both parties. It's best to just let go. 

If your ex is trying to be your friend after a breakup, just remember that you are better off without them. 

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