Newlyweds Are Alienated By Bride’s Relatives Because Couple Didn't Invite Family To Their Wedding

Oct 10, 2023 by apost team

Love is beautiful, and the manifestation of it in two people who decide to spend forever together is even more beautiful. But a couple's decision to spend their life together isn’t always straightforward. The moment they make the move to take their relationship to the next level, issues around planning the wedding ceremony, how to plan and structure their family, and where to live, among others, arise almost immediately. 

At that point, when it comes to weddings, the main discussion for the couple focuses on deciding what type of ceremony they want to have and planning for their big day. Couples have differing desires for their big day. While some couples want extravagant wedding ceremonies with all of their friends and family in attendance, others might want small intimate weddings with only family in attendance. Meanwhile, others again might choose the road less traveled — eloping as their wedding celebration.  

Eloping is a marriage conducted in a secretive fashion without the knowledge of the couple's family and friends, particularly their parents. Although it is mostly frowned upon, elopement is legal in some states in the USA, provided all their requirements are met.

In one such case, Reddit user @u/Sensitive_Mouse6747 detailed in a post shared on Sept. 26, 2023, how he and his wife were ostracized by his wife’s family for getting married without informing them. The original poster (OP) started the post by explaining that he and his wife had been together for five years and had been engaged for two years. He stated that from the onset, they had decided that elopement was their preferred wedding celebration.

“From the beginning her and I decided that we wanted to elope and then have a nice party a little farther down the road so both the families could come and celebrate with us, which we told our families,” he wrote.

The couple pegged their date for eloping on their fifth anniversary and informed both families of their plans, as they were not trying to keep it secret. The plan was for the couple to inform their families of their marriage after the OP’s wife had updated her paperwork. The couple followed through with their plans, and after their wedding, the OP’s wife shared pictures of them on Instagram.

“Once we were married my wife posted some of the pictures on Instagram. Nothing huge, just some pictures of her and I smiling and hugging and one of us showing our new rings,” he wrote.

However, trouble started when the bride’s cousin saw the pictures and alerted her dad’s side of the family to the development. Needless to say, the bride’s extended family, including her uncle, grandmother, and aunt, were furious that they were left out of the couple’s big day. They accused the couple of being disrespectful. The groom elaborated, "They said we betrayed their trust and ruined our relationship with them."

Although the couple tried to offer an explanation for eloping and apologized for leaving them out, the bride’s extended family remained unperturbed. They insisted that the couple owed them a proper wedding and threatened to alienate them if it wasn’t done.

“They demanded that we have a do-over ceremony with all of them invited. They also threatened to cut us off if we didn’t comply,” the OP wrote.

Although the couple loved and respected the bride’s family, they refused to allow them to dictate what they would do with their lives. The family found their resolve offensive, labeled them immature, and hung up the call with the couple.  

The OP ended the post, stating that although he and his wife are happy with their marital life, they are worried about losing their family.

apost.com

Redditors on the platform took to the comment section to drum up support for the couple, excusing them of any wrongdoing and congratulating them on their union. 

“Hard no to all of this ridiculousness. You are married and you did what you wanted. Their emotional blackmail is worthless. Don’t fall for it now or you’ll be stuck forever. Enjoy your lives. Wishing you all the best. NTA,” one Redditor wrote.

“You don't *owe* anyone a wedding! Ask them who is supposed to pay for it! If they don't offer their money, what do they expect you to do. They cannot demand this of you and they are the ones being stubborn and immature. They want a party at your expense. They can buzz off. NTA,” a second Redditor wrote.

“Has that side of your wife's family always been this unreasonable and childish?” a third user asked rhetorically. “NTA. Absolutely not. They might be disappointed, but to cut you and your wife off because they didn't get to go to a wedding is... a massive overreaction.”

“As a fellow eloper ignore it and don't engage. You can't reason with people that make everything about themselves. I mean they aren't your parents or siblings and even still you don't owe them anything. Don't apologize or try to get them to see your POV cause they don't care. NTA congratulations though!” another commented.

“NTA. You and your wife enjoy each other. You did it your way. Forget about her family, they just like drama. Go on and be happy, they don't pay no bills in your household and have no say in your household. Congratulations and have your nice party later on and do nt invite them. You owe them nothing,” another user opined.

What do you think of the couple not inviting their families to their wedding? Do you think the bride’s family overreacted? What would you do if you were in a similar situation? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members and other people you think would have an answer!