New Mom Rages Over Being Called 'Birthing Parent' Instead Of ‘Mother’ On ‘Offensive’ Health Form

Jul 26, 2022 by apost team

Giving birth to a child should be an emotional time of excitement, anticipation, hope and joy. But for one mom in Australia, that hope was dashed by the "absurd" healthcare form she was given to sign calling her "birthing parent" instead of "mother."

New mom Sal Grover of Australia's Gold Coast lit up the internet and fury of moms everywhere when on July 19, 2022, she tweeted a picture of the form she was asked to sign, saying: "On the form to put our newborn baby on our Medicare card, we are referred to as 'birthing parent'. Enough is enough. This absolute bulls*** is exclusionary, alienating and derogatory towards every woman (who) wants to be and is called 'mother.'"

Recounting her horror to the Today Show, Grover said she was "shocked" by the move, adding, "I know enough about women's rights and the erosion of our language and spaces and whatnot, so I know where it's coming from."

She continued: "It doesn't take a genius to work out that the term birthing parent isn't inclusive of anyone, particularly mothers and women who don't want to be called birthing parents, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, gay men who are parents – who have obviously not given birth.

"There are an array of people that this doesn't include, it's just this ridiculous dehumanizing language."

"I think it's appalling. It's offensive. It's to please fringe activists and lobbyists who have made such a big deal about this sort of language, and then come after us and call us bigots for not accepting it," Grover said, calling on those who felt offended by the term "mother" to "get help."

"If the word 'mother' bothers you so much, then motherhood is going to be quite a shock isn't it?"

"I can't believe that they've actually done this. This is bureaucracy gone crazy," Today host Karl Stefanovic said.

Co-host Ally Langdon, herself a mother, called the move "dehumanizing" but conceded there may have been inclusionary intent behind it.

The new form was introduced in March. It was being trialed in three hospitals by government agency Services Australia, which said that the changes had generally positive feedback.

The form allows a child to be added to a parent's Medicare card, which entitles them to free or lower-cost medical services in Australia.

Just mere hours after Grover's appearance on the Today Show, Government Services Minister Bill Shorten announced on Twitter that the language on the form would be reverted back to read "mother." While winning the praise of Grover and her backers, Shorten was also accused of caving in to social media pressure. He later told the media he was simply trying to "defuse ugly culture wars."

"There are many people who feel the word 'mother' is special and worthy and there are others who feel their identity is not included – each has a legitimate point of view.

"We just need to be better at not having to have one view at the expense of the other," he said.

"However you come to motherhood – it's precious," Shorten continued. "It's not a label, it is imbued with meaning ... and for people who choose to identify in other ways they should have that option too. Canceling one doesn't help the cause of diversity and tolerance."

Grover lauded the adjustment over the change that she had described as being too close to a dystopian future. 

"Being called a 'birthing parent' on government forms is too close to 'A Handmaid's Tale' for my liking."

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Online, women and men alike flooded Grover's social media with comments supporting her.

"This is madness,  enough with disrespecting our beautiful mothers," read one tweet.

"To reduce this down to the act of birth is beyond offensive. It's just plain wrong," another user commented.

"Prepping us for birthing pods and test tube babies in a few generations. If it feels dehumanizing ... that's the point," another tweet read.

"This is outrageous – if you give birth you are a mother. Why is language being changed for a TINY minority who *may* get offended rather than the majority who won't?"

"What is this obsession with banning women?"

Not everyone was on Grover's side, however, saying the change would help lessen any confusion in cases such as surrogate mothers.

"My wife's ex-wife gave birth to our daughter. What the h**l would they expect us to put there? 'Inclusiveness' once again being incredibly exclusive," one user wrote.

"My son calls me Mumma and my partner Mummy. He has two mothers. There's nothing exclusionary at all. If anything it's more inclusive and helps differentiate which Mother is the birthing one," @SaraSassypants tweeted.

"Wouldn't that also refer to surrogates? They carried and birthed the baby but won't be the mother."

"It's just a form," another user wrote in reply to Grover's tweet. "Are you less of a mother because of a form that you could have seen just once, but chose to immortalize in your tweet?"

But with the form change, Grover hoped it would serve as a lesson that women should not be afraid to stand up for themselves. 

"It's amazing. Hopefully, it just inspires more women to speak up when we see this absurdity whether it's with our rights, our language, spaces, sport ... anything to say no we're not having this."

What do you think of the term used on the healthcare form? Was Sal Grover right to do what she did? Let us know and pass this on to all the beautiful mothers out there.