New Mom Asks If She Was Wrong For Faking Her Baby’s ‘Kidnapping’ To Teach Husband Lesson

Jul 07, 2023 by apost team

Nowadays, it is more common for partners to share responsibilities equally. Couples increasingly divide chores fairly and split bills based on each partner's earning ability. The same applies to raising babies. It used to be the mom's responsibility to stay home and care for the children but with more women entering the workforce, the trend is gradually shifting to both partners taking turns to do so. 

Those who can afford it often hire nannies or place their babies in daycare centers, while those who can't seek help from family members. On rare occasions, one spouse will cut back on work or take leave if there is no other alternative. 

However, there are instances where one spouse is not ready to help. A study by the Pew Research Center in 2020 revealed that 62% of women were unhappy with the division of house chores, while 55% of men felt satisfied with the amount of work they did. 59% of women also said they do most of the chores at home. Another study also found that 32% of the men in the US, UK and Australia have never changed a bed sheet. Meanwhile, another 53% of men confessed to intentionally doing a chore badly so they won't be asked to do it again. Also, although more men are stepping up to take care of their children, a few still offer little to no help raising their babies. 

A new mom encountered this situation and staged a kidnapping when she found out her husband was neglecting their baby despite being a stay-at-home dad. She took to Reddit in June 2023 to ask if she was wrong for doing that. Continue reading to get the full story and people's responses.

A 29-year-old woman asked on Reddit if she was wrong for stealing her 4-month-old baby. The new mom posted in June 2023 with the title, "AITA for 'kidnapping' my baby, causing my husband to have a panic attack?"

Expensive daycare forced the woman to leave the baby with her "reluctant" husband, 35, who hasn't worked since 2021. 

"He receives benefits. It's also important to know that he's extremely lazy. He doesn't cook, clean, or help out in any way," she shared. 

The woman disclosed that for the first few days, she met a well-fed, clean baby and believed her husband was being responsible. However, a neighbor told her their baby always cried when she was away. The neighbor revealed that she knocked and found out the woman’s husband was sleeping. Hence, the OP (Original Poster) wanted to confirm it. 

"I decided to take the day off of work, i left home at my regular time. Waited 30 minutes and then went home. Sure enough, he was knocked out sleep with his stupid noise cancelling headphones on. I went to my daughters room, scooped her up and took her to my friends house," she revealed.

OP called her spouse two hours later to tell him she was on her way home. 

"He called me back saying that he can't find the baby. He told me that he was going to call the police but before he did I told him what I did. He called me an asshole and a lot of other words too. When I got home his mother was there 'calming his nerves' because he has a panic attack," she added.

The man and his mom called her names. Family members also initially thought she was wrong. However, she shared in an update that they supported her when they heard what happened. 

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Redditors took the woman’s side after she shared the story. 

"Sleeping with noise cancelling headphones as the only adult in the home caring for a 4M old?! Absolutely NTA," a user assured her. 

A Redditor asked her to consider a divorce, as they wrote: 

"NTA. He is not an appropriate caretaker for your child and if I were you I'd be reconsidering the relationship completely." 

The woman replied in her update that she already moved in with a friend. "Online, he's saying how I ruined his youth by trapping him with a baby," she added. 

Another Redditor pointed out the danger of her husband neglecting their newborn. 

"NTA- maybe a little rough approach BUT to not take care of baby is not just neglect but really abuse. In this age it is really important to have good caregiver. It is dangerous- not just psychologicaly but also physically (sic). Babies f.e. are more prone to (dehydration) and it is shortcut to death in this age," they explained. 

A third user told her she was lucky she didn't lose her baby to child services. 

"NTA, but just FYI, this isn't just a leave your husband because he sucks. You need to leave him before you loose (sic) your child. Neglect is abuse. Your neighbor was nice and called you instead of CPS. But if you stay with your husband they can take your child from you as well," they commented. 

The woman validated the Redditor's comment when she wrote: "I took her to the hospital and they found signs of neglect. I explained the situation. The doctor advised me to press charges against my ex husband. I think I will." She added that the baby had lost some weight. 

A fourth person reassured her, "NTA, but now you know he cannot be trusted alone with your baby."

What do you think of the woman's situation? Is a divorce appropriate, or would it be extreme? What would you advise her to do? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends and family members.