Mother Stirs Up Internet After Getting Mad At Daughter Who Refuses To Be Called By Her Own Name
May 15, 2023 by apost team
Becoming a parent is extremely exciting. Whether you have children through biological means or you choose to adopt, one of the most thrilling and meaningful moments of having a baby is getting to choose his or her name. It could be something unique, something that has been passed down for generations in your family, or just something that you really like.
Some parents even take so much time in choosing the name of their children, to the point that as soon as the mother confirms the pregnancy, they immediately rack their brains thinking of a good name for them.
However, what might sound desirable for the parents doesn’t necessarily mean that their children would learn to love it when they grow older. This was the case for a mother who took to a Reddit thread in November 2022 and wondered if she was in the wrong for getting fed up with her daughter who would disrespect her every time she was called by her full name.
“My daughter goes by a nickname that's a shorter version of her full first name, like Becky instead of Rebecca. (Fake name but you get the idea.)” the Original Poster (OP) wrote in a now-deleted post on Reddit.
According to OP, she did not initially mind her daughter using a nickname, but she eventually got “tired” of how she would correct her in public whenever she was introduced.
It seemed like OP had enough after a recent encounter with her daughter, which led her to call her own daughter “oversensitive” and “rude.” Keep on reading to know what pushed OP to her breaking point.
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/fizkes
For many people, being called by their own name is a sense of pride and identification – an acknowledgment that they are seen and heard. Essentially, one’s name is a pathway to one’s identity. In some instances and cultures, names can somehow dictate one’s class or biases.
But besides this, names assigned by birth parents can also hold significance for family members in other ways – maybe because the name is a portmanteau of the parents or another reason. In any case, children are given a name for a purpose.
“I use her full name because that's the name her dad and I gave her and I don't consider the nickname her real name,” OP wrote.
As per OP, her daughter will immediately correct her after being introduced by her real name as if she just uttered a dirty word, and will proceed to act cold and distant toward her.
“It's really embarassing because whoever I'm trying to introduce her to sees (sic) her disrespecting me like that and it puts a damper on the whole mood,” she added. “It happened again today and I'd finally had enough. I told her to drop the attitude and stop disrespecting me over nothing.”
As OP recalled, her daughter rolled her eyes at her, cussed in response and stormed out of the place. As a Catholic, OP found this disrespectful.
“I was mortified and ended up crying in the bathroom,” OP confessed. “I love my daughter but I'm at my wit's end here. I don't see anything wrong with introducing her by her real name and I think she's being oversensitive and rude.”
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For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/fizkes
The comment section of the post in Reddit was unanimous in their sentiment against OP – she was in the wrong for not understanding her daughter’s preference and problem and refusing to acknowledge her identity.
“YTA...you want respect from your daughter, while actively disrespecting her on a regular basis,” a user posted.
“YTA. Your daughter prefers to go by a shortened version of her name — and that’s her right. You are the one being disrespectful here — not her,” another commented.
“YTA. You are concerned about the "appearance" of respect but you aren't extending your daughter the respect of using the name she prefers,” someone echoed.
The post has since been deleted by the OP (as she deactivated her account too), but the comments on the thread remain. Apparently, it was revealed at one point that OP’s daughter was already in her 20s, which angered more people online.
“I was thinking of a teenager. That makes it way worse,” someone wrote.
“While it doesn't matter the daughter's age for OP to qualify for YTA, the fact that daughter is in her 20's instead of some teen figuring out who she is just makes OP a bigger AH,” another user shared.
A number of people on the thread even pointed out how OP’s religion and beliefs became a conflict with her perception of respect.
“Imagine that; a "religious" parent that doesn't respect their child… What is it with certain parents who think they have more say in who their child is than the child, themselves? YTA,” someone replied.
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/Dzonsli
Do you think OP was in the wrong for getting angry at her daughter? Do you think her daughter’s sentiments were valid? Would you feel disrespected if your child would not prefer to use the name you had given them? Let us know, and pass this on to other family and friends, who you think would have an answer.