Mom Of 3 Mariska Hargitay Endured ‘Painful’ Adoption Process But Believes ‘Everything Happens For A Reason’

Feb 27, 2023 by apost team

Mariska Hargitay had a turbulent start to life when her mother, Jayne Mansfield, died in a tragic car accident in 1967 when she was just 34 years old. Hargitay was only 3 years old at the time and sadly was in the vehicle at the time of the incident, along with her brothers Miklós (Mickey Jr.) and Zoltán Hargitay.

Luckily, all three children escaped with minor injuries. We can only imagine how traumatizing it was to witness the accident first-hand. But Hargitay survived the accident, and the grief, and has not let it ruin her life. Instead, she has carried on her mother’s legacy and, in the process, made her own.

Hargitay was born in Santa Monica, California. Her father was the Hungarian-born former Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay, who passed away in 2006 at the age of 80. After the death of her mother, Hargitay was raised by her father and his third wife, Ellen Siano, along with her siblings and half-siblings.

Hargitay followed in her mother’s footsteps by entering beauty pageants. She was crowned Miss Beverly Hills USA and also competed in the Miss California USA pageant before later attending acting school. She is best known for starring as Captain Olivia Benson on the NBC drama series "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." It was in this role that Hargitay’s strong resemblance to her mother became apparent. 

Hargitay is now a mother herself. In 2006, she and her husband Peter Hermann welcomed a son named August into the world. Then, in 2011 the couple ended up adopting two babies just six months apart. Their daughter Amaya was born first, followed by Andrew, who was born prematurely. Keep reading to learn about the challenges and triumphs Hargitay faced while adopting.  

Hargitay, who is now 59 years old, told PEOPLE the resemblance to her mother is an honor and tribute to her and helps her feel as if “she is still with me.” As she was only 3 years old, she doesn’t remember the crash, but she does have a daily reminder of it: a zig-zag scar on the side of her head.

Decades later and a lifetime without her mother, Hargitay reminisced on her career in comparison to her mother’s. Hargitay told PEOPLE: “My mother was this amazing, beautiful glamorous sex symbol — but people didn’t know that she played the violin and had a 160 IQ and had five kids and loved dogs … She was an inspiration, she had this appetite for life, and I think I share that with her.”

As well as her acting career and striking looks, Hargitay is the founder and former president of the Joyful Heart Foundation, a charity close to her heart that provides support to survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse.

After being compared to her mother for the majority of her life, she has now embraced the similarities. “Someone once said about (remembering) my mother: ‘All you have to do is look in the mirror,’” she recalled. Married to actor Hermann, who she met on the set of "Law & Order: SVU," she is content with her personal life and public life.

Hermann and Hargitay share three children, two of which were adopted in 2011. While they are happy and content now, there were challenges along their journey to becoming a family.

Hargitay delivered the couple's first child, August, via caesarian section at age 42. She told SheBuysTravels:

"August has changed everything! You know, I think because I became a mom later in life, everything in life means more. Every day is deeper and richer and more soulful." 

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Sometime later, Hargitay and Hermann wanted a sibling for August, but after turning to adoption, they encountered some tough moments along the way. Hargitay recalled the ups and downs of the adoption process in 2012. "I'm not gonna lie," she said. "There were wrenching moments. I say to everybody, 'Adoption is not for the faint of heart.'"

Although they had August biologically, the couple noted that adoption was always something they wanted to do. "I was really letting the chips fall as they might because I do think so much is up to God. I always said, 'I don't know how this is going to end up. I don't know if I'm going to get pregnant and have twins. I don't know’ … But I really did think that down the line, Peter and I would adopt a child. That was always part of the plan," Hargitay shared.

Unfortunately, the road to growing their family was filled with false starts and letdowns. Hargitay said: "There were several cases that didn't work out. A lot of different kinds of complications. Then, after disappointments, came the big hope — which ended up being dashed. But, while it may be ironic, the hardest disappointment was also the greatest moment, in terms of what it means to help build a family."

The couple was put in contact with an adoption lawyer and eventually found a pregnant young woman who wished to give up her child for adoption. They communicated with her in the month leading up to the birth, and on the day, the baby was handed over to Hargitay and Hermann. However, just two days later, the woman changed her mind. Despite being devastated, Hargitay could still see the silver lining in what had happened. 

She told Good Housekeeping:

"But ... this is what I've come to understand about life: It was probably the greatest, happiest ending. I mean, it was so painful for us, but it was deeply joyful and deeply right for her." 

Finally, what was meant to be transpired, and the couple got their daughter Amaya in 2011. Then, six months later, their son Andrew came into the picture rather suddenly. "I don't really know what to say about it, other than it was a no-brainer. Peter and I both thought, Let's do it! I'm in!" Hargitay said. "It was like ... a miracle. And I don't use that word lightly. I've never made a bigger decision so quickly. The whole thing happened in a total of two days."

The proud mom added to the charity Joyful Heart Foundation:

"A miracle happened and our second son, Andrew, fell out of the sky and into our home."

Hargitay couldn't be happier with her brood of children, and she's vocal about her belief that a higher power is behind everything. "I think God runs the show. Completely. Life proves it every day: He runs the show," she said and added: "I think God is very much in us. Faith is a huge part of our life. And I think everything happens for a reason."

 In 2018, Hargitay opened up to PEOPLE about her beloved family:

"The thing that's made me a better parent is my kids because they taught me to really listen. My husband is my North Star, and my kids are my teachers."

The family of five is still happy and healthy in 2023.   

What do you think of Mariska Hargitay’s adoption story? Have you or someone you know adopted a child? Let us know, and feel free to pass this along to your friends and family.