Mariah Carey Speaks Out On Her Relationship With Her Mom: 'It Is A Work In Progress'

Apr 03, 2022 by apost team

Mariah Carey is a legendary singer-songwriter, record producer and actress. She is known for her signature use of the whistle register, melismatic singing style, and impressive five-octave vocal range. She rose to fame in 1990 with her self-titled debut album. Carey has achieved many accolades and awards, including being the first artist in history to have her first five singles reach number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The songs were "Hero," "Without You," "All I want for Christmas is You," "Fantasy," and "Always Be My Baby." 

Carey released her debut album under the guidance of Tommy Motolla, a Columbia Records executive who she would later marry and then separate from. While signed to Columbia Records, Carey released some of her most popular albums, including her famous Christmas album in 1994 titled "Merry Christmas." The album is still beloved by audiences and regains popularity every year around the holiday season. 

After her separation from Mottola, Carey underwent a self-transformation and added more hip-hop elements to her music, beginning with her sixth album "Butterfly." Carey left Columbia Records in 2001. Billboard has named her the most successful artist of the 1990s, and the World Music Awards also recognized her as the best-selling artist of the 1990s and the best-selling pop-female artist of the millennium.

Carey has been through many transformations in both her career and personal life, including the birth of her fraternal twins, Moroccan and Monroe Cannon. Becoming a mother made Carey reflect on her own childhood and relationship with her mom. Keep reading to learn more about Carey and why she said her bond with her mother is a "work in progress."

On March 27, 1969, Carey was born in Huntington, New York. She is the youngest of three children born to Patricia Hickey, a former opera singer and vocal coach. Her father, Alfred Roy Carey, was an aeronautical engineer. Carey's parents split up when she was three, which is something she only opened up about recently. In her memoir "The Meaning of Mariah Carey," she spoke about the difficulties of growing up with divorced parents and described her childhood as violent and challenging. Fortunately, she has always been able to find an escape through music.

Carey has always been known for being a bit nocturnal, often staying up all night to work. In an interview with The Guardian, she opened up about her childhood and its effects on her life. "I think my staying up all night started from having such a dysfunctional family. Oftentimes, whoever was in the house was doing whatever it was that they were doing, and that felt kinda unsafe to me, so I started staying up," said Carey.

She has been known as the Queen of Christmas since the release of her album "Merry Christmas" in 1994. Carey said her passion for the holiday comes from not having had much to enjoy during Christmas as a child. She said her motivation behind the hit single "All I Want for Christmas is You" was "to write a song that would make me feel like a carefree young girl at Christmas."

During her time at school, Carey excelled in music and literature. She graduated from Harborfields High School in Greenlawn, New York in 1987. While attending, she first began writing poetry and song lyrics. She ended up missing school often due to her work as a demo singer. This job helped her make connections with other artists who would then help her produce her own demo tape. 

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Carey recalled a moment from when she was still a teen, and her mom screamed that she would never have as much talent as her. Carey said:

"There was a distinct shift: she made me feel like the competition, like a threat. In place of our previous bond grew a different tie, a rope tethering us through shared biology and social obligation. Having people you love be jealous of you professionally comes with the territory of success, but when the person is your mother and the jealousy is revealed at such a tender age, it's particularly painful."

Reflecting on the past has given Carey some clarity on who her mother really is. She shared, "It has taken me a lifetime to find the courage to confront the stark duality of my mother, the beauty and the beast that coexist in one person — and to discover there's beauty in all of us, but who loved you and how they loved you will determine how long it takes to realize it." 

To protect herself, Carey created distinct boundaries with her family. "For my sanity and peace of mind, my therapist encouraged me to literally rename and reframe my family. My mother became Pat to me, Morgan my ex-brother and Alison my ex-sister ... I had to stop expecting them to one day miraculously become the mommy, big brother and big sister I fantasized about," she explained.

Carey added: "I had to stop making myself available to be hurt by them. It has been helpful…The situation with Pat, on the other hand, is more complicated. I have reserved some room in my heart and life to hold her — but with boundaries. Creating boundaries with the woman who gave birth to me is not easy — it is a work in progress."

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