Man Realizes Stepdaughter Does Not Care For Him Despite Paying For Her Wedding And Refuses To Be The Host

Nov 07, 2023 by apost team

Stepfamily dynamics can be complex and can result in strained relationships if not navigated with wisdom. A man turned to Reddit’s “Off My Chest Section” on June 3, 2013, to share a burdensome situation. The original poster (OP) had a stepdaughter from a relationship of 10 years, although he wasn’t married to the girl’s mom, who was his girlfriend. 

He shared that his stepdaughter was getting married in August of that year, so she and her mom had been overwhelmed with planning for the last six months. Meanwhile, OP had raised the girl and also paid $40k for her college tuition despite it being a state school. He also bought her a car for school to make commuting easy, and she lived with him and her mom because she was unemployed. 

OP revealed that her “deadbeat father” showed up once in a while, and she adored him, although he didn’t contribute to raising her at all. She also wanted him in her life, although he regularly broke his promises to her. 

The stepdaughter was ready to marry and got a venue to hold 250 people. Since OP was “paying for everything,” he gave her and his girlfriend a list of 20 people he wanted to be invited, and they promised to send invites. On his end, he asked his guests to expect invites and clear the date. 

However, during a chance meeting, OP found out none of his guests were invited; they only received an announcement that didn’t even include the stepdad’s name. Ironically, the bio dad’s name was included with the bride’s mom’s. When OP confronted his girlfriend, she told him she didn’t invite his friends because “250 people is very tight.” OP said there was nothing he could do “because the important people in my life had already been offended.”

During Sunday dinner with the future in-laws, OP, who was already boiling from the previous day’s revelations, was surprised to see the “Real Dad.” The stepdaughter then announced that her “real dad” would be the one to walk her down the aisle. 

After a furious exchange, OP regained his composure and made a toast. He expressed how wonderful it was to have been family with his girlfriend and thanked them for helping him realize he was just a money vending machine for his girlfriend and her daughter. 

“As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad,” OP told them. “So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen.”

Everyone mumbled, and some threw tantrums, but no one said anything to OP’s face. Once they left, OP and his girlfriend yelled at each other. Since his girlfriend had never worked since she moved in with him, he transferred all the money from their joint account and asked the vendors he had already written checks for to refund his money. 

The next day, his girlfriend unsuccessfully tried to write herself a check out of the joint account. She then brought him the wedding planner to show him he was ruining their plans, but OP discovered that all the music was to the biological dad’s taste, and he was allergic to some of the menu. 

“So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I’m feeling like they never really gave a crap at all,” he wrote. 

He asked his girlfriend and her daughter to move out, so they moved in with the groom. They also tried to scale back and asked the groom’s family to help with the expenses. 

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Redditors told OP he did well. Some also shared their experiences with similar situations. 

Someone shared, “I am a “Real Dad” as well as a “stepdad” (divorced-remarried) . My biological son was married a few years back. He lived with his mom and stepdad since he was probably 10. I consider his step dad as much more of a dad than me , he raised them better than i ever could and provided a better role model than i did. I was invited to the wedding and gave $ toward it but just what i could afford (about $2K) and i was allowed to invite about 10 guests but the ceremony was about 100 miles away so only about 4 of my scumbag family responded. I guess what i am rambling on about is i know my place.”

“A decent man would agree with OP, and refused his daughter’s request because he recognizes his place shouldn’t be at her side. So he probably realized that people would probably think OP sh*t the bed and not him, and had someone probably apologize to him. People man,” another user commented. 

“I would have been even angrier.You paid for her college, you were going to pay for her wedding and they couldn t even do the bare minimum of inviting your 20 people?That is just pure disrespect toward you. I would get out of that toxic environment right away!” another person opined. 

“It sounds crazy, but the ‘uninvited list’ is almost the worst part. Other stuff can be blamed on tradition (not rightly so..) but that is just awful,” a fourth person shared. 

“It is completely appropriate,” someone assured OP. “It’s the natural consequences of their actions. Now you can contact your friends that they offended and let them know, and mend those fences.”

What do you think of OP’s experience? Do you agree with his methods? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family.