I'm Strong But I'm Tired To My Core

Jan 22, 2019 by apost team

Everything is crumbling.

I’m slowly but surely losing the strength to carry on alone. It’s hard to even explain what kind of mindset I’m in because there are so many emotions bubbling to the surface. But the bottom line is that I’m tired of being the strong one and my soul is exhausted. Each day, I wake up and put on my fake smile, pretending that I’m fine to the world around me and I’m barely holding myself together.

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Even though I’m strong and can handle almost any situation that life throws at me, that doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to fall apart sometimes. Everything I’ve been through takes a toll on me eventually. Just because I’m a strong woman who appears to be an alpha doesn’t mean that I cannot have moments of weakness. I’m just tired of acting like everything around me is fine when if you really take a moment to look into my eyes you will see that everything is not, and I’m rapidly falling to pieces.

I never wanted to be the strong one, but life has a way of forcing these things upon us. I had to force myself to endure my problems rather than run away and hide from the issues I was facing. Even though I was scared, I had to carry on through anything that life brought me. It was between fighting to live and bowing down in defeat. I never had a choice. I had to carry on.

But now, I don’t feel courageous, I feel worn down and weak. I don’t have the energy left in me for another fight even though I know that the struggles aren’t over. How will I summon the confidence to get through another hardship? How can I find the strength to move through another obstacle when all I want to do is lie in bed and take a rest from it all?

Others perceive me as someone who is fearless and inspirational, but I’m running out of energy to keep on this facade. Just because I got through my struggles does not mean that they didn’t impact me in the same way they would any other person. Although I am independent, I still want to ask for help sometimes, but I never do. I’ve finally come to realize that even if I am a strong person, we all have our breaking points.

I’ve started to realize that nobody is supposed to face life’s challenges alone. We need support systems for the tougher challenges that we aren’t strong enough to face. Each one of us needs someone encouraging us along the way and telling us that we’re doing the right thing, even if we are a strong independent person.

After all of the things I’ve been through, I think it’s my turn to be weak for a little bit. I just want a hug from a loved one and to hear that everything is going to be okay. I’m not seeking financial or physical support, but rather the emotional support that most people deserve and need to carry on with their lives. I need someone to be my backbone while I go through difficult struggles, and all I want is for someone to be there for me while I figure out where life is going to take me next.

I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being the one that is known for their strength. Don’t people know that even the strong need help sometimes? I’ve always been a support system for others, but where is my system of helpers when I need the strength to carry on? I’ve always neglected to ask others for help because I didn’t want to show any sign of weakness or fragility. But now I realize that everyone has to ask for help sometimes, and there’s no shame in the matter.

My emotions are reaching a point where I can no longer ignore them. It’s time to take a step back and reevaluate how I handle my issues because the current way just isn’t working. Holding myself together completely alone and without help from others is breaking me down to a point where I’m afraid I won’t be able to return from. All I desire is someone to hold me when I’m scared, help me work through my issues and how me together when I’m falling to pieces.

Do you ever feel too weak to go on? Being the one that gets through any obstacle can weigh down on a person eventually. If you’re tired of being the strong one, you aren’t alone. Pass this on to anybody who feels the same way.