Husband Berates Wife For Gaining Weight After Giving Birth And Demands She Get Thinner
Oct 09, 2023 by apost team
Motherhood is not an easy task for women as they constantly have to tend to their baby’s needs like feeding, cleaning and giving them the love and affection they deserve. Throughout this journey, husbands should be by their wives’ side and caring for their babies too, as mothers also need to rest.
Unfortunately, this was not the case for a woman who gave birth to a healthy baby girl as her husband started insulting her and even told her to lose weight despite advice from the doctor to listen to her body’s needs.
A person with the username Throwra34_69 took to Reddit’s r/relationship_advice thread in August 2023 and gave a background on what happened to her and her husband.
The woman, who was 29 at the time, said she and her spouse had been married for six years, but their relationship began back when they were still in college.
When they decided to build a life together, the woman suffered through three miscarriages, and when she was carrying her firstborn, who was a healthy baby girl, she had complications with her pregnancy and suffered through 20 hours of labor before the infant was welcomed to the world via emergency C-section.
“All that pain was worth it,” she wrote and added that her husband was also happy with the baby’s gender. The woman added:
"I had gained about 30 pounds during my pregnancy. I was 5'7 121 pounds prior. After giving birth I gained another 10 pounds since I have been breastfeeding and my body has been craving calorie dense foods. Not junk food. ... The doctor told me that I should listen to my body's needs and feed myself whatever I feel like I need."
Initially, things were going great for the two as the husband had been helpful. She mentioned that the man took care of her and gave her everything.
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/Antonio_Diaz
However, after giving birth, the husband made up excuses to not help her and also stopped being affectionate with their baby.
Later in the post, the woman detailed that her husband began saying inappropriate comments to her like "You're a bit chubby" and “Today's a good day to work out and shed some pounds.” Before she got pregnant, the Redditor said she was very active and was working out four to five times a week. But after she had her baby, she became “completely exhausted” and couldn’t get out of bed. She even collapsed five times.
On top of that, she had to take care of the child and other chores around the house.
One day, her husband went to work, and she went to the kitchen only to see that every piece of food in the house was gone. When she asked her spouse about what happened, he told her that he had thrown everything away because she needed to start losing weight.
She immediately called her best friend to ask her to bring her food. When her husband came home and saw the food that her friend had brought her, he wasn’t happy and he later “threw everything outside and smashed everything with his foot.” Chaos ensued between the couple and the man didn’t stop insulting her to the point that he called her a “f***ing cow.”
The Reddit user called her brother to pick her and the baby up, and he let them stay at his place. Unfortunately, though, her mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and even her own mom defended her husband and told her that she indeed had to lose weight. They also told her to apologize to her husband for her “postpartum breakdown.”
“I guess I'm just not sure if this is good grounds to file for divorce or should I listen to my mother? Is this how all men are wired?” she concluded.
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For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/daizuoxin
Users shared their advice as well as their sympathy for the woman after she shared her story.
One user wrote: “Bless your heart! You have been through the ringer. I’m so glad you left that abusive AH and are in a safe place! Prayers to you and your babies!”
“Omg that is absolutely vile thing to do to your wife. It is not normal to expecting a woman after birthing a human to bounce back. he is cold and insensitive. I hope you heal,” another sympathized.
In an update, the woman thanked all the people who supported her and gave her advice. She revealed that she initially listened to her mom and went back to her husband who apologized for calling her a “f***ing cow,” but he told her that he was being honest because, for him, honesty is the “most important foundation of a happy and healthy relationship.”
She followed his advice and started cutting back on her food, but it took a toll on her physically as her energy became low and her breastmilk supply “diminished quickly.”
One evening the baby cried non-stop, and her husband was furious about it. When she shared her problems with producing milk, the man told her: “Cows eat grass and produce gallons of milk. What are you, a meat cow?”
It was the final straw for the woman, and she decided to leave him behind and move to her best friend’s house who had been helpful throughout her journey.
The woman filed for divorce and cut all communications with his family as well as her mother.
“I am going to attempt to get full custody and supervised visits from the father,” she wrote.
Fortunately, there is some evidence if ever she needed it because their house was equipped with cameras outside that recorded their altercation.
For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/guruXOOX
What do you think of the woman’s journey with her husband? Do you think she did the right thing by leaving him and filing for divorce? Let us know your thoughts, and make sure to pass this on to your friends and family.