Husband Accuses Wife Of Being ‘Bitter’ At His Celebration Dinner After She Doesn’t Pay The Bill

Apr 23, 2022 by apost team

Balancing independence and codependency can be tricky at times while in a relationship. There’s a lot that couples have to navigate and learn how to compromise as well as figuring out how they want to divide their responsibilities. Couples also have to figure out how they want to split their finances, whether that be completely down the middle or if each person just pays for themselves.

For one woman, she explained that she and her husband do not share their finances. They have been married for three years and have always lived like this, so they’ve gotten used to taking care of themselves. However, the woman explained that she will sometimes pay for her husband on special occasions or if she just wants to do something nice for him.

When her husband found out he was getting a bonus at work, he invited his family and his wife out to celebrate. While the woman assumed that he would be picking up the tab with his new bonus, her husband explained that he hadn’t received it yet and he assumed that she would pay to help him celebrate.

This resulted in a huge argument at the table at the restaurant in front of the man’s family. The woman refused to pay for every single person’s meal and drinks, so she paid for herself and left. Since then, she and her husband have been arguing nonstop, and the woman has wondered if she should have just paid the bill. In March 2022, she went to Reddit to ask users for their opinion on the matter and see what advice they could offer her.

Starting off her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained, “My husband and I don’t share finances, it’s been like this for the three years of our marriage and so far we’ve been doing well, though he’d sometimes try to get me to pay for him, but I do it only when I want to do a nice thing for him, say invite him to a restaurant.”

When OP’s husband got a bonus at work, he was so happy that he decided to invite his entire family out to dinner to celebrate and picked out the restaurant and meals everyone would be having. OP explained, “I naturally thought he was going to pay for all that since it’s his happy celebration. But it turns out I was wrong because when it was time to pay the bill, he told me to ‘take care of it’ and I said why?”

Her husband said he would explain later, but OP wanted an explanation right away and found out that he just assumed OP would want to pay for everyone to fully embrace the celebration. “When I talked about how ridiculous it was of him to assume I’d pay for not just his, but his family’s meals he said that I should be happy for him instead of being visibly bitter,” OP added.

She continued, “He then said he’s yet to receive his bonus and begged that I take care of the bill now and he ‘might’ consider paying me back later.” OP refused to pay for anyone but herself, so covered her portion and left.

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OP continued, “His mom spam called me for hours, and he went off on me at home saying I spoiled his celebration and joy because I’m feeling bitter, especially considering I had enough money to cover the bill right there and then. I said this wasn’t my obligation and he was the one who came up with the celebration idea.”

The couple has continued to argue ever since, so OP turned to Reddit users for some advice. Many users chimed in to tell OP that she was not wrong for not paying for everyone’s meal, especially since her husband hadn’t communicated with her beforehand. 

One user commented, “It’s common knowledge that you do not invite people to dinner and then expect them to pay for everyone else. You don’t trap your spouse in awkward situations like that either.” Another said, “If he planned this and expected you to foot the bill you shouldn’t have been the last to know. A conversation with you was warranted before you got to the restaurant and not in front of his family.”

OP has since updated her post with a few updates explaining that she showed her husband Redditors’ responses, but he didn’t take it well. He said, “These people have no idea.” OP also explained that she makes more money than him and that was part of the reason why he expected her to foot the bill, but she didn’t see it that way. Her husband had also paid for her in the past when she forgot her wallet, but she always made sure to pay him back. 

However, many Redditors still continued to side with OP and even encouraged her to seek out couple’s counseling.

Do you think this woman was right to not pay for her husband and his entire family’s meals during his celebration dinner, or should she have taken care of the bill for the evening? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends.