How To Stay Calm During An Argument
Oct 16, 2018 by apost team
A certain amount of conflict is inevitable in life. Even individuals with an uncommon amount of patience will at times be caught in a disagreement. When many disagreements happen, the individuals involved in the spat feel as if they have no control of their bodies or emotions.
We are in total control of our reactions when conflict takes place. It is difficult to disallow nature to take its course and give the normal involuntary responses to stress. However, it is possible for us to regulate these negative emotions.
These tips will help you stay calm during conflicts of all types.
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Breathing
The body must be prevented from becoming tense if you are to remain relaxed while involved in a conflict. When stressed, the body will naturally begin to breathe more shallow. You must stop this tendency by making a conscious decision to take deep breaths.
Breathe in deeply through the nose and release the breath through the mouth. The stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline will decrease with each deep breath taken.
Think Of Your Own Body
You should be mindful of any physical sensations you feel as a result of stress during a conflict. You should concentrate on your own body when involved in a stressful situation. When doing so, you can feel the tension as it spreads through your body. Be sure to relax the hands and shoulders at the first sign of tension.
This is an open position that uses body language to communicate positive intentions. Body language alone sometimes has the power to diffuse conflict.
Use Active Listening
It is common for arguments and conflicts to be started by a person that feels their thoughts and feelings are not being properly heard. It is also difficult to resolve a conflict without being attentive to the viewpoints of another party.
When the other party is talking, listen with your full attention. Do not consider what you will say in return. Once the person has said all that he needs to say, you will have all the information necessary to give a proper response.
Open-Ended Questions
Asking open-ended questions are great for ending conflicts. This is because asking these questions show the other party that you are truly listening to them. Also, open-ended questions allow the individual with which you are having conflict to fully express themselves. This will provide relief for some of the emotion they are feeling.
Some people struggle with asking open-ended questions. The easiest thing to remember is to pretend you are reporting the news and only ask questions that start with what, when, where, and how.
Lower Your Voice
The most explosive fuel to the fire of conflict is a raised voice. The good news is that the opposite is also true. The level of your voice can also affect your blood pressure. Elevated blood pressures cause it to become more difficult to understand what is going on. This will only add to the confusion that already exists.
Your voice can be used to lessen the anger of the other party. You should look to add a sense of calm to the situation by speaking in a soft tone.
Disagreement Is Fine
Every conflict will not end with all individuals seeing eye to eye. Disagreement does not have to be the cause of continued problems. You will do much better by disengaging from the conversation so that the conflict will not become deeper.
It is important to remember that it takes two people to keep conflict alive. If you ever find yourself in a verbal disagreement and see either that the other person is growing hostile, or there is no agreement to be reached, it is probably best to respectfully discontinue the conversation.
Final Thoughts
Most people will experience anger when arguing with another person. Humans are emotional by nature and this trait can either be used to an individual's advantage or become a detriment to them. It is also important to forgive yourself if you have lost your temper and used harsh words.
Have you had a problem with the stress of conflict in the past? If so, the six tips in this article will help you keep a level head during disagreements. Send this article to friends and family that have had a hard time dealing with the stress of a conflict.