Here Are 5 Signs You're Confusing Obsession With Someone For Love

Jan 03, 2019 by apost team

Your knees get weak when he gazes into your eyes. Your heart starts to pound when she brushes her hair over her shoulder. While these are common signs of love and longing, they can also be signs that you're confusing desire with true feelings of commitment towards your partner.

Are they the one? Do you love them, or are you just infatuated with them? How can you tell the difference? Here are five warning signs that your relationship isn't as deep as it might seem.

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This is one of the biggest signs of infatuation. While there's nothing wrong with enjoying physical intimacy with your partner, sex shouldn't be the driving force in your relationship. You shouldn't be more concerned with hooking up than spending quality time with them. Are they the type of person that you can bring home to your parents?

Can you envision a future where you go to restaurants, concerts, malls, museums and art galleries together? If you can't imagine being with them in a variety of environments outside of the bedroom, they probably aren't long-term material.

It's true that every relationship calms down after that initial rush of giddy, heady exploration. However, your feelings should only be losing immediacy and not intensity. You should still delight in learning new things about your partner and sharing all of life's experiences with them.

If you find yourself making excuses not to see your sweetheart even though your relationship is still new, that's a tell-tale sign that you aren't truly into them. You're just using them for sex, affection or companionship, and you avoid them when they can't provide these things.

Another common sign of infatuation is when you're so starry-eyed over your partner that you can't see any of their flaws or shortcomings. This can be a particular concern if your partner is exhibiting abusive traits that you're ignoring or rationalizing away.

It's important to listen to your friends and family members if they tell you that something seems "off" about your new boo; you don't have to dump them or set fire to their belongings right away, but you should value the counsel of trusted loved ones rather than letting your hormones turn off your rational judgment.

A healthy relationship is a meeting of two equals where both parties are given care and consideration for their emotional needs. If your relationship doesn't have this balance, there's a good chance that it won't last, especially if the problem is that you're more focused on your own joys and pleasures than your partner's. This doesn't make you a bad person!

However, it's a sign that you aren't truly in love with your partner. If you were, you'd be more attuned to and concerned with their feelings. You wouldn't prioritize your mood over theirs.

In the same vein as the above, if you're experiencing a lot of jealousy whenever your partner talks, texts, chats or spends time with other people, you might be suffering from obsession rather than love. You shouldn't feel threatened when they're going about their daily lives and interacting with people other than you. This is perfectly normal behavior, and it shouldn't be causing you any distress.

If you are distressed, it could be a sign that your subconscious recognizes the shallow nature of your relationship. Instead of feeling secure with a trusted, long-term partner, you feel anxious about potentially losing their attention. You know in your heart that it's fleeting.

These are just a few signs of infatuation that are commonly mistaken for love. What do you think? Did we miss anything? Do you have any red flags to add? Let us know in the comments!

Our content is created to the best of our knowledge, yet it is of general nature and cannot in any way substitute an individual consultation by your doctor. Your health is important to us!