Henry Winkler Set Aside His Mom’s Cruelty To Him As A Child To Care For Her After She Had A Stroke

Aug 09, 2022 by apost team

Few people have had to overcome as much difficulty to succeed in their profession as actor, producer and children's book author Henry Winkler. The talented star is best known for playing the “greaser” with rogueish charm, Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli on the popular sitcom "Happy Days" opposite Ron Howard from 1974 to 1984. His character would go on to surpass others on the show in popularity, leading the producers to write an even bigger part for him in the show. So convincing was he as the bad boy with a heart of gold that he earned three Primetime Emmy nominations and two Golden Globe awards for the role. 

“Happy Days” made Winkler a household name but he didn’t want to get stuck playing bad-boy types forever. This was why Winkler turned down the lead role in the film “Grease,” which would go to John Travolta instead and become a massive hit. On why he had shot it down, he said “Because I’m an idiot.”

For a few years in the 1980s and early 1990s, he struggled to find work on screen, which led him to try his hand behind the scenes instead. He found success as a  producer and director, including for the hugely successful series "Macgyver."

In later years, he excelled as a comedic actor, playing iconic roles on popular television shows such as "Arrested Development," "Parks and Recreation" and he even won an Emmy award for his performance as Gene Cousineau on the HBO dark comedy series "Barry." After first acting alongside Adam Sandler in 1998’s “The Waterboy,” he would return for roles in later Sandler films, such as “Little Nicky,” “Click” and “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan.”

Making his career all the more impressive is the fact Winkler has struggled with a major learning disorder his entire life. 

Winkler has made no secret of the fact that he had a deeply unhappy childhood. Born on Oct. 30, 1945, Winkler's parents fled Germany to escape the Holocaust and settled in New York. Winkler explained his relationship with them to The Guardian as such:

“I’d describe my parents with admiration on one hand — escaping Nazi Germany in 1939, starting a new life and, in doing so, giving us a wonderful life. On the other hand, I’d say that they were emotionally destructive. A heard child is a powerful child, but my parents didn’t listen to anything. I never felt heard.” 

He told also told CNN: “My parents never saw the individual. Now, I respect them, I respected their journey, I appreciate them, I am grateful for the life that I was given but I did not like them.” 

Winkler struggled in school and was considered slow and stupid by his family, who would refer to him as a "dumm hund," meaning "dumb dog" in German. This conflict caused Winkler much anxiety and stress in his childhood. He was often punished because of his poor grades, which strained his relationship with his parents.

“I was grounded for most of my high school career. They thought if I stayed at my desk for six weeks at a time, I was going to get it and they were just going to put an end to the silliness of my laziness,” he said. 

It wasn’t until Winkler was 31 that he realized the reason for his struggles was because he was dyslexic, a disorder he learned about while helping his stepson in school, who also had learning difficulties. But by this time, it was too late to repair his relationship with his parents. 

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Winkler’s mother, Ilse Anna Marie suffered a debilitating stroke in 1989. It left her with upper limb spasticity. Winkler described the condition as such: 

“The secondary muscles in the arms take over for the weakened and damaged muscles — the main muscles — and freeze the arm into position. … And a lot of times the arm is frozen out to the side, against the chest.”

He added that his mother fared poorly in spite of therapy: “She wouldn’t even leave the house in her wheelchair, because it was so embarrassing. She didn’t even want to go for a push.” 

Despite the trauma of his youth, Winkler set aside his feelings to care for his mother. However, this was difficult as he lived in California at the time and his mother was in New York with his sister. “So it was tough to share responsibility with her, and when I couldn’t, I felt guilty. I was so appreciative for my sister, being there when I couldn’t be.”

Winkler tried as best he could to care for his mother from afar. He did this by “support on the phone, daily chats, and then when I wasn’t working, getting to New York as often as I could.”

Winkler’s mother passed in 1998. Although Winkler did not have the best relationship with her, it taught him to be determined to raise his own children differently.

Winkler has two biological children with his wife Stacey Weitzman, whom he married in 1978, and a stepson from her previous marriage. At the very least, his rough childhood taught him lessons to be a father. “Every interaction you have with a child, no matter, how casual, is recorded by that child. Adults are really powerful. Kids look to adults to, you know, to validate themselves.”

What do you think of Henry Winkler’s relationship with his parents? Is it something you can relate to? Let us know and pass this on to friends and family.