Heartbroken Groom Fires Back After Fiancée Refuses To Let His Daughter Be Their Flower Girl

Jul 13, 2023 by apost team

Weddings can be very tricky to plan. Selecting who gets to sit where and who to invite has been the woes of many couples for the past few years already. For families that have a complex setup, things are more complicated than usual. 

In the case of a groom-to-be, he took to the AITA thread on Reddit to open up about his woes about his fiancée as their wedding approaches.  

“I (45m) have a daughter (P) from a previous relationship. I divorced my ex-wife on good terms and we share 50/50 custody of P. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex-wife I met my now fiancée (S). S and my daughter got along very well. After 5 years in my relationship with S I proposed,” he explained. 

According to the Original Poster (OP), his fiancée was “super excited” to plan the wedding. At one point, he was informed that she wanted her niece to be the flower girl at the wedding. OP had no hesitations about that but also wanted his daughter to be a flower girl as well. However, his fiancée looked at him “funny” and told him that she didn’t think his daughter would “fit the part.” 

“I got angry and told S that my daughter would be in our wedding. S started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and P wouldn’t be one of them. I told S that if P wasn’t in the wedding then there might not be a wedding. I stormed out and took P to get ice cream,” OP elaborated. 

OP’s daughter was unaware of the ruckus. She even told her father that she thought his fiancée would look pretty whatever dress she decided to wear, not knowing that the fiancée didn’t like her in the first place. 

Heartbroken, OP texted his fiancée that he would be staying at a friend's house to think through their argument. Fiancée’s mother then texted him saying that he was “overreacting,” and even pointed out that his daughter “doesn’t have to be in my wedding and I was an ass for saying that I would cancel.”

OP sought the thoughts of people in the Reddit thread who have collectively agreed that his fiancée was in the wrong for wanting to pull such a “Disney stepparent evil”-level stint. 

In a follow-up post, OP clarified that his daughter was neither “disabled, chubby, or having an awkward face” nor a different race from his fiancée, essentially dismissing arguments that it might be an external factor for his fiancée to decide against. 

In the post, OP revealed that he talked to his fiancée about their argument, but when he arrived at their house, he saw her mother-in-law (MIL) in her own car. He went inside immediately to avoid running at her. 

Inside, he found his fiancée sitting silently at the kitchen table. He then asked how come his daughter did “not fit the part” of being their flower girl and why she didn't want her to be at the wedding at all. 

Fiancée’s response to OP’s question “full on shocked” him, he recalled to the thread.

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Apparently, OP’s fiancée had one thing in mind when she was confronted.

“She quietly said, I was hoping that after the wedding you could become a holiday visit only dad, I didn’t want her in the wedding so she wouldn’t be in the photos around the house since she wasn’t going to be around much,” OP recalled. 

OP did the unthinkable after. He kept his cool, calmly took his fiancée’s hand, and pulled his engagement ring off. Immediately after, the fiancée teared up and pleaded that they shouldn’t end their marriage over this and promised to change. 

“I told her the damage was already done. I told her I wanted her things moved out by next week and that she could come get them when my daughter wasn’t home,” he told her.

Right after, fiancée stormed out of the house, and her mother came knocking back, blasting him for being unreasonable. 

“I couldn’t imagine only seeing my daughter 3 or 4 times a year. The fact that S wanted me to give up part of my custody blew me away. I’m sitting on my couch just in shock. Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Hawaii. Looks like me and P will be going instead. I will update again if anything happens,” he went on to reflect. 

Meanwhile, in the comment section of the thread, Redditors were in awe of the father’s courage and love for his daughter. 

“Op, you’ve showed yourself to be a wonderful father and person. The right woman will see this and love you BECAUSE of how you put your daughter first,” someone reminded.

“I believe Mary Poppins has proven that it's not the size of the bag that matters, but the amount of confidence you have about what you can fit inside it,” another commented.

What can you say about OP’s decision to call off the wedding? What would you have done if you were in OP’s position? Would you have done it differently? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones out there!