Grandma Shuts Down Her Daughter's Request To Babysit Her Grandson During Her Time Off Work

Sep 25, 2023 by apost team

A single parent is a person who raises a child solely without the help of a partner. A person can become a single parent by choice or through separation from their partners as a result of divorce, death, or abandonment. Statistics published by Gitnux showed that around 25.5% of families in the US were headed by a single parent. The statistics by Gitnux also revealed that 80% of single parents in the US are women, with about 39% of those women living near or below the poverty line.

Being a single mom is not a walk in the park; single moms have to work twice as hard to settle the bills for themselves and their children. In certain cases, some single mothers are lucky to get help from their extended family members. These family members bend their schedules and share their resources to cushion the effect of the burden on the single moms; even then, there is only so much they can do.

In one such case, a Reddit user @u/Cold-Range9355, in a Sept. 16, 2023 post, detailed how she refused to take care of her grandson during the period of her vacation. The original poster (OP) started the post by explaining that her 26-year-old daughter had been abandoned by her husband three months after they welcomed their son. To support her struggling daughter, the OP invited her to stay at her home. Besides offering them a place to stay, she also cared for her grandson in the evenings and took care of the house expenses.

“Currently, to help my daughter, I pay the expenses at home and she pays for daycare and the baby's things (diapers, formula, etc.). And there's still plenty left for her to save up to eventually move,” she wrote.

Further into the post, the OP shared that she decided to take a month off her hectic schedule to rest. When her daughter found out that she was taking time off work without necessarily traveling, she talked to the OP about the possibility of babysitting her son instead of having him go to the daycare. According to the OP, her daughter’s reason for making this request was so she could save money to get her own place. A request that the OP immediately turned down.

“I immediately said no, as it is my rest and taking care of a child for 6h/5d+2h at night is not in my plans, but that I could help in the morning so she can rest, but the afternoon was out of the question (my grandson stays in daycare on afternoon),” she wrote.

Needless to say, the OP’s daughter didn’t take her mother's refusal to babysit her son well. She burst into tears, relaying the difficulty of her situation and asking her mom to commit more time to the child. 

“She started crying, saying that she was trying to gain independence and eventually move out, but that being a single mother was so hard and I wasn't making it any easier. Basically she begged me to at least stay another 3 hours, but I stuck to what I said,” she wrote.

The OP ended the post by explaining why she could not take on the role of a babysitter and expressing her guilt at the entire situation.

“I really want to rest and a 14 month old baby who is walking and curious I know I won't get that rest, but I can't help but feel guilty about my daughter's situation. I love my grandson, but it is also my rest,” she wrote.

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Readers on the platform took to the comment section to drop their opinions on the post, with most of them supporting the OP for declining her daughter's request to babysit her grandson during the period of her vacation.

“NTA,” one Redditor wrote. “If she takes her child out of daycare for a month, the spot will be filled by someone else, and she won't have daycare at all. The daycare provider obviously can't afford to just hold the space open for her for a month without pay, they need to cover their own expenses. Has she taken her husband to court for child support? That needs to be done ASAP. It will do more for her long-term finances supporting her child than loosing daycare to try to save one month's daycare cost.”

“NTA,” a second Redditor wrote. “Your daughter should look into getting support from her ex and/or the government.”

“NTA,” a third Redittor commented. “Why should you give up your holidays to look after someone else’s child. Yes, being a single mother is hard, but you’re already doing a significant amount, and you ARE making it a lot easier for her already.”

“NTA: you deserve your time. You aren't taking vacation to benefit your daughter, you are taking it to recharge your batteries so you can keep helping your daughter,” another opined.

“NTA sorry but your daughter sounds very entitled. I’m sorry for her situation but she already is getting free living and partial child care. She sounds like a person who doesn’t hear no a lot from you but probably needs to hear it more. You’re not a baby mom. Your a grandma who already goes above and beyond,” another user commented.

What do you think about the OP refusing to babysit her grandson during her vacation? Do you think she could have spared a few hours for the child? What would you have done if you were in a similar position? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members, and other people you think would have an answer!