Grandma Asks To Be Paid To Watch Grandchild And Mom’s Feelings Are Hurt

Jan 11, 2022 by apost team

When it comes to raising children, it's safe to say that every parent needs a little help at some point or another. Most parents don't stay home with their kids all day every day and typically require some type of care worker to look after them. This could either be a family member, a friend or a professional babysitting business.

Choosing to have a family member watch your children seems like an ideal situation until there is miscommunication. Everyone is entitled to be paid for what they do, although on the other hand, it seems that most families don’t see taking care of another person in their family as work. For this reason, one mom was shocked when her child’s grandmother asked to be paid for babysitting.

Part of what makes this a difficult situation is that the grandmother lives in the woman’s home and does not pay living costs. This is why the mom was surprised when her son’s grandma demanded to be paid. The other reason the woman didn’t want to pay her mom to watch her son is that it feels transactional and like the grandma doesn’t want to spend time with her grandson. The mother’s feelings were hurt by this and she said she would rather pay a daycare center instead. 

This story is reminiscent of another that was posted on Reddit. It was written by a grandmother who expected to be paid $12 an hour to watch her grandson because she said she was missing out on time she could be working. The boy’s mom said she can only afford $10 an hour but this was not enough for the grandma.

Read on to learn more about both of these stories and to see what others had to say about them.

In the Reddit post, the grandma, or original poster (OP), explained how her daughter works five days a week for about seven or eight hours a day. She needed someone to watch her son for two or three of those days, so she reached out to her mother. 

"Of course, I am open to spending time with my grandson, but I explained to her that I would like a payment of $12/hour," OP said. "She understood my need for payment but then lowballed me with requesting $10/hour because she claims that she cannot afford it even with her $22/hour job."

She continued, "I'm not a daycare, I have my own life, I work for myself and I think she should understand that I'd be giving up my time when I work from home, and if I'm going to be giving up that time then I need money to replace that time I'm giving up from my job."

OP explained that she couldn't work and watch her grandchild at the same time, but her daughter reasoned that there were some nice benefits to watching the baby as opposed to spending that time working. OP said, "I love my grandson, but as I stated above, I'm not a daycare."

A Redditor believed that OP had actually asked for more money but edited her post to make herself look better. The user said, "YTA mostly for editing your post to say $12 instead of $15 to make it seem like you didn't ask your daughter for over two-thirds of her hourly wage…You're well within your right to be paid or say no but on moral grounds, you clearly don't care about her very much if that's the approach you took."

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In the other story, the mom was the one sharing and in her situation, the grandma lives in her home without having to pay rent or other bills. The mom said:

“I have a 9-month-old son and for the past year, my mother has been living with me and my husband. She has helped us out a lot by looking after my son when both I and my husband are in a pinch. This has been great and much appreciated and at first, I thought she was happy to help out because she expressed how much she wanted a grandchild before my son was born.”

She added, “So we let her stay with us so she can spend more time with her grandchild. However, she has recently said she now wants to be paid for looking after my son and is upset that we haven’t paid her at all.” 

Most of the commenters agreed that the grandma should pay rent if she doesn’t want to babysit for free. One person said, “Does she not pay you anything towards living costs? No contribution towards food, no rent (even a token amount), nothing for bills? If not then I think it's cheeky to ask for childcare payment as to me that would seem like her contribution to offset living with you.”

Another person offered some advice, saying, “Time for a frank conversation I think, not about money, but about everything before anyone’s feelings start to boil over. Focus on the good stuff you’re doing for each other and how it is all well-intentioned, no one ever meant to upset anyone but obviously, something has changed and it’s not working anymore.”

These stories are similar, but the differences in circumstances make taking sides not so cut and dry. 

Do you think a grandparent should be paid for watching their grandchild? Let us know and be sure to pass this on to your friends and family.