Fiancé Says Future Wife Can't Don White At Their Wedding Because Of Her Previous Relationships

Dec 20, 2024 by apost team

When it comes to planning a wedding, there is so much to be excited about. Picking out a venue, hiring a band or a DJ, and deciding on the perfect flavor of cake is a great way for couples to continue growing their bond as they move forward with the next chapter of their lives together. 

For brides, wedding planning is especially important and fun as they typically look forward to picking out the absolute perfect dress. For some brides, this means sticking with a traditional dress in a classic style, like an A-line dress, mermaid dress, or a ballgown. Another factor in choosing a dress is choosing the right color. While most people pick white or off-white, some people choose to go with some less traditional colors, such as pastels or even black dresses.

A 32-year-old man went to Reddit in December 2020 to ask users for their advice on how to move forward with an issue he was having with his 23-year-old fiancée. He explained that since she had been in a few relationships before him, he didn’t think it was right for her to wear a white dress for their wedding and insisted that she wear a different color instead. 

The man explained that it was part of his religious values to indicate whether a woman was pure. His fiancée was embarrassed by the fact that he was honest about this and was at the point that she didn’t even want to marry him anymore. Since then, the pair have continued to argue, resulting in the man desperately needing Redditors’ advice.

In his Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that he and his fiancée were planning on getting married in the upcoming months. “I come from a very religious household with strong Christian beliefs and one of the traditions in my family is if that woman getting married isn’t still a virgin they shouldn’t wear a white dress on their wedding day,” he said.

This wasn’t a secret in his family, as OP was upfront about his girlfriend’s past with them. “My family knows my soon-to-be wife wasn’t a virgin when I met her because my mom asked me when I started dating her if she was pure, and I was honest and told her she had boyfriends before she met me,” OP said.

However, this has caused some problems between OP and his fiancée. OP explained, “My wife was really upset when I asked her if she could wear a colored dress on our wedding day but she agreed, so we’re looking at getting (a) glittery blue dress instead.”

According to Britannica, many societies believe that the color white is associated with purity, but the tradition of wearing a white wedding dress was actually popularized by Queen Victoria’s 1840 wedding to Prince Albert. In fact, many brides actually wore dresses in a variety of colors or even just wore gowns that they already owned. When Queen Victoria chose to wear a white dress on her wedding day, it was heavily reported in newspapers and magazines and quickly began influencing future brides and their dress choices, according to Britannica.

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At first, it seemed like everything was fine, and she was comfortable with picking out a different color dress, but their fairytale dreamland quickly began to crumble. “Now she’s saying she won’t marry me because she’s too humiliated by the whole situation, but I really don’t see how it’s a big deal,” OP said.

He asked Redditors for their thoughts on the matter and was met with plenty of backlash. The majority of Reddit users agreed that OP was, in fact, wrong in this situation and reprimanded him for his beliefs and the way he seemed to shame his fiancée for her past.

One user commented, “For a dude marrying a girl nearly a decade younger, you sure are worried about what mommy thinks.” Another added, “Are you a virgin? If not, what will you be wearing on your wedding day to signify how you’ve been tainted?”

A third user pointed out that OP seemed to be using his beliefs to justify humiliating his fiancée. The user said, “I am a 65-year-old Christian grandmother and that is an unkind, judgmental and controlling thing for you to do. Truly it is spirit crushing to hear when people pretend that this kind of finger-pointing idea is Christian in nature.”

Others pointed out that OP’s fiancée could still wear a traditional wedding dress and stick to his ideals based on some technicalities. A user commented, “...99% of wedding dresses these days are ivory. So if your fiancée wears a normal wedding dress she is not pretending to be a virgin!”

Do you agree with this man’s reasons for his fiancée not wearing white on their wedding day? Or do you think his fiancée is right to want to wear whatever she wants? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends, too.