Father Slammed For Throwing Daughter’s Plate Of Food In The Trash After Quarrel

May 04, 2023 by apost team

Being a parent to children who are going through the trials and tribulations of adolescence can be quite a challenge. Alongside physical development, changes in their emotional patterns can sometimes appear perfectly set up for friction and conflict.

One father who found himself exasperated by his teenage daughter’s behavior took to Reddit to recount an incident in which they had butted heads at the dinner table to seek feedback on whether his reaction had been appropriate. He shared his story on April 17, 2023, and began his post as such:

“I’m (44) a single dad to two kids ‘Audrey’ (16) and ‘Emily’ (12). We have a great relationship but Audrey can sometimes be rude and demeaning, saying cruel things casually when she's displeased about something or in a bad mood. Emily (her little sister) looks up to her, often mimicking her behavior which obviously worries me.”

“I cooked a nice Sunday dinner and Audrey stormed downstairs in a bad mood for who knows what reason. She was being a downer whereas Emily and I were cheerful. I asked her to improve her mood please instead of ruining the dinner, she turned to me and unleashed her anger. To quote some of her elegant words: ‘can you stop lecturing for once, you're annoying as f*ck and seriously you're the one who ruins everything,’” he continued.

The dad said Audrey made a snide remark about how the food didn’t look good. He then “stood up, took her plate, and dumped it in the trashcan.” With his patience wearing thin, the dad “told her since she can't bother to show me any basic respect, she should start providing for herself from now on.”

Audrey responded by saying she would make herself a bowl of cereal, but her dad had other ideas.

When Audrey moved to get milk for her cereal, the father intervened.

“I said no that’s my milk and she should get a job to get her own groceries. I don’t feel like I yelled at her, I felt I spoke calmly but when she realized I was being serious, she got upset and started crying and ran to her room,” he recounted.

He disclosed the incident not only left Audrey but Emily enraged with him as well. 

“We haven't talked since. Obviously she's mad at me but now my younger daughter is mad at me too, saying I acted like a huge jerk to her sister. I of course don't see it that way, I don't tolerate being spoken to with such disrespect and it did hurt me a lot hearing Audrey say these things to me that were uncalled for,” he said.

In a postscript, he added he initially asked Audrey “twice, at the beginning what was wrong and why she was in such a bad mood. Her response was a sarcastic ‘you wouldn't get it.’ I asked why not, she just sighed.”

He wrote he was “obviously not winning any ‘dad of the year’ award,” but questioned whether he had stepped out of line. 

If it was sympathy the dad was looking for, he surely did not get it from the Reddit community. Many blasted him for being uncompassionate, unreasonable, cruel and unkind to his teenage daughter, and described his response as “disproportionate” and “inappropriate.” They said Audrey, who was clearly upset, was made to feel like her feelings weren’t valid and that she should always swallow her feelings and put on a happy face when engaging in activities with her family. 

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Users slammed the father for acting childish despite being the parent.

“Should she talk to you that way? No. But she’s probably going through something and could use some grace. I’m sure you have a lot on your plate also but you’re the adult, she’s your kid. I’d apologize and work on your communication skills,” one user wrote, while another said, “He has a responsibility to remain calm as the adult in the situation, and forcibly removing food from a kid's plate is never, ever, ever, a reasonable adult's response to getting some attitude from their teenaged child.”

Others said the dad was clearly teaching his daughter the wrong lessons. “He's also trying to teach her toxic compliance and to repress emotions using negative reinforcement and the threat of no longer supporting her,” one comment read, while another user wrote: “he’s teaching her conditional love, and that he will withdraw his care when he sees fit. Extremely unhealthy.”

One reader offered an example of how the father could have reacted to the situation better and wrote what he should have said:

“Your feelings are valid. I’m sorry you are in a s*it mood. But I worked hard on this dinner; hurting my feelings won’t heal yours. If a plate or cereal in your room would better serve you tonight, okay. I deserve to be spoken to with respect regardless of your feelings. When you are ready to do that, come down. When you are ready to talk, if ever, I’m ready to listen.” 

Meanwhile, the father responded to the criticism in another postscript. He said a “vast majority” of the negative feedback he received showed him that his behavior was unacceptable and that he would make amends. He wrote:

“I'll apologize and give her her cereal.”

What are your thoughts on the father’s reaction at the dinner table? Do you agree or disagree with the Reddit community? Let us know and be sure to pass this on to friends and family to get their thoughts on the story, too.