Even The Most Knowledgeable Parents Can Make These 8 Mistakes When Raising Their Children

Jul 16, 2018 by apost team

There’s no hard and fast, perfect way to raise kids. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely scoured over all kinds of advice from different experts and friends with kids. However, some conventional wisdom turns out to not be so wise. Even if it's not what you're used to, don't brush off this expert advice. Instead, it’s worth considering just how much you could still learn. These are all typical mistakes of raising kids that experts say you should avoid:

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While no one likes a tattletale, that doesn’t mean your children should be discouraged from reporting on the negative behaviors of their peers. What’s important is for them to do it when the actions affect them specifically or if they are concerned about the effects an action could have. For instance, it’s worth reporting bullying or disruptive behavior that disturbs your child. But they shouldn’t be telling on people who simply made mistakes.

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Telling your children not to cry when upset is like telling them not to smile when happy. It might not feel good to cry, but keeping it bottled up is even worse. You want to teach your children that negative emotions are just as valid as positive ones. Telling them to suppress crying will only make them feel ashamed to be sad - a behavior that can lead to highly-toxic pent up emotions and anger later in life.

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Yes, your child should try their best to get along with others. However, that doesn’t mean that they have to compromise their integrity in order to be liked. If you convince them that they have to go along with the crowd in order to make friends and to not speak up when someone asks them to do something unreasonable, they could become susceptible to peer pressure.

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Just because a child isn't the brightest kid in school doesn’t mean that they have no hopes of succeeding professionally. While it’s great to do well on tests, it doesn’t prove that they’re any smarter than other students. Some who struggle in class find that they are much better in less-structured work environments. If your child is having trouble in class, work with them to help them improve instead of punishing them.

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You might think that you should buy your children each and every toy they want. After all, aren’t the positive memories they’ll form and the love they’ll give you more than worth the expense? Doing so will just make it easy for your children to think they deserve something just because they demanded it. You want to teach them the values of patience and saving money.

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Don’t think that the best way to punish a child for misbehaving is by taking away something they love, such as a video game console. Instead, you should work through the issue together, instead of taking things away and giving them back as you please. You want your child to actually learn from the experience, instead of being good out of fear of punishment.

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There’s nothing worse for a child than being bored, but it’s a very necessary thing to experience. If your child is constantly stimulated, then they’re going to have a hard time adapting to adulthood. Let them learn the value of just having nothing to do. This can actually be beneficial, as it’s a great way for them to learn lifelong habits like mindfulness meditation.

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Sharing is great, but it shouldn’t be forced. If your child doesn’t want to share something, they shouldn’t feel obligated. It might be that they don’t trust the other child, or that they want to use it more than they want to share it. Let them develop their sense of generosity naturally.

When raising kids, it's important to try as many methods as possible. While not all of these ideas will work perfectly for you and your family, it is always beneficial to question your parenting techniques, even if you're already an expert - without criticism, positive change is not possible. We encourage you to show this to other parents you know and tell us what you think.