Bride Refuses To Let Stepson Play Presentation Of His Late Mom At Her Wedding

May 12, 2022 by apost team

Losing a loved one is never easy. As people work through the grieving process, it’s common to reflect on all of the amazing times they were able to share together. This could mean watching silly home movies, looking through endless photographs, or playing your loved one’s favorite songs. What’s important to remember is that everyone grieves in their own way.

A 36-year-old woman went to Reddit on May 1, 2022, to talk about her upcoming nuptials and a problem she had with the wedding itself. She was engaged to a 42-year-old man who had a 17-year-old son from his former marriage. The original poster (OP) explained that she had a good relationship with her stepson, but had found that he could be very emotional and very introverted at times.

OP’s stepson had a tough time grieving the loss of his mother who passed away from cancer. To honor his mom, he came up with a plan to show a presentation on a large screen at his father’s wedding. However, OP didn’t understand why her stepson wanted to do that, as his mother had nothing to do with her upcoming wedding ceremony. If anything, she believed that the presentation would confuse guests and actually take away from what they were all there to celebrate.

This resulted in plenty of family drama between the three of them, which left OP wondering if she was wrong to tell her stepson that he couldn't play a presentation of his late mother at her wedding, so she turned to Reddit users for their advice.

In her Reddit post, OP talked about preparing for her wedding, which would take place by the end of 2022, and how she has built a good relationship with her stepson. Unfortunately, however, there have been some bumps in the road. “He is the most sensitive and emotional kid I’ve ever met,” she said. “I’m not saying that’s a bad thing … but it does make it difficult for me to deal with him sometimes."

She continued: “He said he has already prepared a PowerPoint project in honor of his mom and is planning on playing or displaying it at the wedding. This was an instant no from me for many reasons.” However, her fiancé didn’t have a problem with his son’s presentation, and has since argued with OP and whether it is appropriate for their upcoming ceremony.

“I told (my fiancé) that this occasion, the wedding has nothing to do with my stepson’s mom so I’m not sure why (he) put a whole PowerPoint project there at the wedding about her,” OP said. “It takes away guests’ attention and makes them confused.”

On the other hand, her fiancé said that they should respect his son’s wishes. “We had a huge fight about it and I refused to even consider it,” OP admitted. “The whole thing is just a no go (sic). I even offered to have maybe few pictures or a seat as alternative but my stepson isn’t having it.”

It seemed like the situation wasn’t getting any better. OP continued: “Things have been pretty tense now. My stepson isn’t talking to me, my fiancé just keeps trying to guilt me into saying yes and it’s all just making me feel overwhelmed.”

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OP also edited her post to give some more background about her relationship with her stepson and said that she never had any issues with his mother. When she first met him, she noticed that he was very quiet and didn’t spend much time with his family. Her fiancé had previously brought up the idea of his son going to therapy, but his son shot it down.

Many Redditors left comments telling OP that she wasn’t wrong for telling her stepson that he couldn’t play his presentation at her wedding, but they encouraged her to try to hear him out and maybe even ask him to tell stories about his late mom.

One user commented: “Affirm his grief and give him an outlet for the work he did, but stand firm.” Another user added: “A PowerPoint presentation about his mother sounds like a great idea for a memorial dinner-event on his deceased mother’s next birthday. It’s not appropriate for your wedding.”

While many users didn’t see an issue with OP standing her ground, they saw other potential red flags and encouraged her to take them into consideration. One user stressed that they weren’t sure if OP’s future family was really ready to move on. The user said: “He can play it at his own wedding where it would be appropriate. It’s not appropriate at yours. The fact that neither of them is able to see that tells me they are not done grieving and this wedding is premature. Postpone.”

Other users agreed and offered OP a few suggestions for moving forward. One person said, “I would suggest couples counseling before the wedding, maybe including your stepson, too.” 

What advice would you give this woman regarding her situation? Let us know and feel free to send this along to your family members and friends as well.