Bride Imposes Tiered Wedding Menu That Gives Guests Meals In Proportion To Value Of Presents

May 22, 2021 by apost team

While it’s a cliche that the most important day of your life is your wedding, there’s some truth to the time-worn saying. For many, it’s a day that symbolizes a new chapter in their lives, signaling the beginning of true adulthood and a commitment to stay with someone for the rest of their life. It’s therefore no wonder why couple’s put in months, if not years, of effort into planning the perfect wedding. With that said, some couples can go a bit over the top, which is why words like “bridezilla” — a woman who obsessively plans a wedding to a fault — exist.

Redditors who frequent the subreddit r/weddingshaming recently posted an example of what seems like a typical bridezilla moment. The September 2020 post includes a photo of what appears to be a wedding menu. Unlike other wedding menus, however, it features a series of tiers based on the value of a guest’s wedding gift. If you give a gift between $501 to $1,000, then you can dine on filet mignon or lobster tails. But if that’s out of your budget, then you may be stuck with roast chicken at this couple’s wedding.

After another Redditor did some research, it turns out that the menu is likely real and was originally posted on a wedding blogger’s site, Jersey Bride.

Regardless of whether the post is real or not, however, it raises important questions regarding wedding gift etiquette. What are the rules of gift-giving? Is there such a thing as being too greedy when it comes to wedding gifts?

Although some users argued that the photo in question was likely from a charity fundraiser — a context in which it would make more sense to provide different dinner options based on donation amounts — another commenter seems to have found the photo’s source, the Jersey Bride blog.

“So here’s something funny. Here’s a for-real legit RSVP card I saw last year (sorry for the bad resolution, I took the pic on my cell),” the blogger wrote above the photo in question.

“After this started getting gossiped about (and posted on FB), the couple who sent this out with their wedding invitations said it was a joke, and they were surprised no one ‘got’ the joke,” the blogger continued.

So while nothing is 100 percent certain on the internet, it does seem that Jersey Bride was the first person to upload the shocking wedding menu, and it seems that the menu is, in fact, real. Of course, once the couple responsible for this menu came under fire online, they conveniently decided to say it was a joke.

“That is horrific. My response would be zero and I will bring McDonald’s,” one user commented on Reddit in response to the menu.

Redditors also took issue with the fact that vegetarian and kosher options were only available to guests who paid between $1,001 and $2,500. Given that dietary restrictions often aren’t a simple choice, commenters found this particularly inconsiderate — not to mention a bit greedy.

“I don't know what's worse, the (tiered) food based on gift... or that vegetarians/kosher diet people are only at the $1k+ level,” another user chimed in.

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The controversy surrounding the menu isn’t surprising given that wedding gifts — and how much guests should spend on them — is a divisive topic. In an entire piece dedicated to gift-giving at weddings, Vogue reports that a study from American Express found that the average wedding gift was usually around $99 for friends of the couple and $127 for family members.

A wedding expert also weighed in throughout the article, offering insight into the expectations of wedding gifts. For example, the formality and cost of the wedding should not determine how much you give the bride and groom.

"The formality of the wedding impacts a number of elements, including time of day and dress, but there is no tie into the cost of the gift. What you gift the couple should be exclusively dependent on your relationship to the happy couple, as well as your own means. No guest should feel as though they need to overextend themselves with the gift because they are expected to wear black tie," says Kylie Carlson, the CEO of the International Academy of Wedding & Event Planning.

The above story of a tiered menu seems to break these rules, as it might encourage vegetarian guests to “overextend themselves” in order to simply have access to a meal that they are able to eat. What’s more, it’s a gift-giving scheme based not on one’s relationship, but rather on one’s wealth and willingness to pay for a better meal. For some, this might seem more like a transaction than a gift.

As one Redditor quipped, “I shudder to think when the gluten free or vegan tier kicks in: ‘A bejewelled jet and your first born (as gifts).’"

What do you think of a tiered wedding menu? Practical idea or greedy trick? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to your friends and family members to get their opinions.