At 79, Sam Elliott Credits ‘Humble’ Life With Animals & Hard Work For Keeping 39-Year Marriage Strong

Sep 06, 2023 by apost team

Western movies and TV shows are a big part of American entertainment history. Featuring cowboys and gunslingers, the genre is beloved for its action and drama. Sam Elliott is a veteran character actor who is best known for his work in the Western genre. Some of his most popular roles include The Stranger in "The Big Lebowski" and Virgil Earp in "Tombstone." The star is also known for his signature mustache, deep, resonant voice, and tall frame. 

Sam began his career playing minor characters in "The Way West" and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." His TV appearances include "Gunsmoke," and the television films "Murder in Texas" and "The Shadow Riders." The actor's breakout film role was in the 1976 drama "Lifeguard," which is one of his few projects not in the Western genre. 

In 2015, Sam guest-starred on the series "Justified" and won a Critics' Choice Television Award for his performance. The following year, he began starring on the Netflix comedy series "The Ranch." In 2017, Elliott starred alongside his wife, Katharine Ross, in the film "The Hero." The film is about an aging Western actor who spends his time reliving the glory days and smoking until he is diagnosed with cancer. Ross plays Sam's ex-wife in the film.

"The Hero" wasn't the first film project that Sam got to work on with his wife. Ross starred in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" while Sam was only an extra in the film, so they didn't get to officially meet until 1978 when they were both cast in leading roles in the film "The Legacy." The couple got married in 1984, and they have a daughter together. Read on to learn more about Sam and Ross and their almost four decades of marriage.

Sam was born on Aug. 9, 1944, in Sacramento, California, to Glynn Mamie and Henry Nelson Elliott. His father was a predator control specialist for the Department of the Interior, while his mother worked as a high school teacher and physical education instructor. His parents grew up in El Paso, Texas, but moved their family to Oregon when Sam was 13. 

The actor spent his teen years growing up in Southeast Portland, Oregon, and graduated from David Douglas High School in 1962. After dropping out of the University of Oregon after two terms, Sam enrolled in a two-year program at Clark College in Vancouver, Washington. While there, he was cast as one of the leads in a stage production of "Guys and Dolls."

It was after receiving good reviews for his portrayal of Big Jule in the production of "Guys and Dolls" that Sam decided to pursue acting as a career. Unfortunately, moving to Hollywood was not the path his father expected him to take. Sam told CBS, "I heard him say the proverbial line about, 'He's got a snowball's chance in Hell of havin' a career in that town,' one time to my mom."

Sam's father always wanted him to finish his college degree, which is something he did after his dad passed away from a heart attack. He said of his father, "He was a realist, my dad. He was a hard worker. He had a work ethic that I've fashioned mine after, and I thank him for that every day."

Sam moved to Los Angeles in the late 1960s. He studied acting and worked in construction until he started serving in the California Air National Guard. He worked at Van Nuys Airport before his unit moved to Channel Islands Air National Guard Station.

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Sam has been in show business for almost 60 years, and he has seen the way the industry has evolved, for better and for worse. "The game has totally changed. Changes that have been made in the technological world have revolutionized the movie business on almost every level. There are some constants that are never going to change. But from a technical standpoint, it's a whole other world," Sam told The Guardian in an interview.

He also shared that he does not feel stuck in cowboy roles due to his voice and look. He recalled a story that took place on set: "I don't think I've ever had problems with my voice in terms of what people have wanted out of me as an actor. But I did do a movie called 'Lifeguard' back in 1976 with a director named Dan Petrie, who did a lot of incredible work. Every once in a while, he would tell me: 'Let's do it again, and this time, let's be a little less south in the mouth.' That always amuses me."

There is, however, one type of role that Sam does not enjoy playing. The actor told CBS, "I played bad guys a couple of times and I didn't enjoy it. I just don't wanna go there. There's enough of that negative stuff out there in the world. I'd rather make people feel good, or make 'em cry, or make 'em, you know, make 'em look inside themselves and know that they're not alone."

Sam met Ross on the set of the gothic-horror film "The Legacy" in 1978, and they quickly hit it off and began dating soon after. They were married in 1984, just four months before the birth of their daughter, Cleo Rose Elliott. 

Sam told AARP that, prior to 'The Legacy,' he had first noticed Ross on the set of an earlier film. However, at the time, he couldn't pluck up the courage to speak to her. "My wife, Katharine Ross, and I both worked on 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,' but I didn't dare try to talk to her then. She was the leading lady. I was a shadow on the wall, a glorified extra in a bar scene. It wasn't until we made 'The Legacy' that we actually interacted."

Sam told the story of seeing Ross perform on "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." He said to The Oklahoman:

"All I could do was just watch Katharine come and go. We didn't interact at all. I saw her a lot because I knew who she was, and I was just another guy on the lot at that point and time. It was a great opportunity, though, because being an extra on the show and being a contract player (with Fox) allowed me to get in and watch 'em make the film. I spent a lot of time over in a dark corner watching Katharine and the rest of 'em work while they were in LA."

The couple had another chance to work together on the television movie "Conagher," which is an adaptation of the Louis L'Amour novel. The role earned Sam a Golden Globe nomination for Best Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film. He mentioned the film in his interview with The Oklahoman: "Working with Katharine is incredible for me. It's always been. I think our time on 'Conagher' was one of the highlights of my career. I know that I'm always gonna feel that way."

Sam told The Los Angeles Times much of their happiness together stems from their shared love of acting. He said, "I think we just like making movies and having that creative experience together is the best. It's just fun. It's a whole different kind of energy to go home with someone you're working with rather than go home to somebody who isn't working. It's a totally positive experience."

When asked what the secret is to a long and happy marriage, Sam answered:

"I think the bottom line is you've gotta want to be married. You've got to be in love with whoever it is, and you've got to be willing to work at it because it's definitely a two-way street. Once you figure that out, I mean the rest of it is like riding the storm, basically." Ross added with a laugh, "You just ride the roller coaster – and hang on tight."

As for Ross, she was born on Jan. 29, 1940, in Hollywood, California. Her family eventually settled in Walnut Creek, California, and she graduated from Las Lomas High School in 1957. She was childhood friends with rodeo rider Casey Tibbs and loved to ride horses herself. After high school, Ross decided to move to San Francisco to study acting. There she joined The Actors Workshop, where she had the opportunity to perform in many stage productions.

The actress spoke with Variety about her experience working at The Actors Workshop and on the production of "Twinkling of an Eye." She said, "I'm not even sure that we even opened! It was where I learned I was bitten by the acting bug. But I actually learned a lot because we all did all of the jobs on the production from acting to ticket-taking to props."

It was while studying acting in San Francisco that Ross got her first introduction to the world of television. "I did hear about a casting call for the TV series 'Sam Benedict.' They were shooting in San Francisco and wanted to cast someone local. I had two very nice scenes with the star Edmond O'Brien, so that's not too shabby," Ross shared. 

The actress went into more details about her career in her interview with The Oklahoman. Ross explained:

"I kind of came into working in the '60s and there were a lot of television Westerns being done at that time, and I was fortunate enough to have parts in many of them. … And I had the opportunity to work with a lot of great character actors." 

Ross was inducted into the National Cowboy Museum's Hall of Great Western Performers in 2014, an honor bestowed upon her husband as well, seven years prior. She said, "I'd do anything if I could ride a horse … I'm a Western girl, and I'm very honored to even be part of the people who have been inducted into the Great Western Performers."

The Mercury News asked Ross if it had been either Sam's voice, mustache, or rugged good looks that won her over, and the star gushed:

"Probably all that and more. We were working together and one thing led to another. And here we are."

The couple has worked together on many projects over the years and still has a strong and happy marriage. Their relationship journey is a beautiful Western fairytale, although, according to Sam, their shared happiness doesn't occur without putting in the work.  

In 2023, Sam turned 79, and the actor has credited his wife for making much of those years the happiest of his life. However, as in all relationships, the pair have faced their own personal challenges, but for Sam, walking away would never be an option. He said of Ross:

“We have a common sensibility, but we also work at being together. You work past the s—; you don't walk away from it. That's how relationships last.”

Sam also shared the secret to his marriage’s longevity with Vulture in 2015 and explained that staying out of the celebrity world was one factor.

“We stay out of town, and we don’t get in too deep. We don’t believe all the s— in the rags. And we work hard. Katharine and I have a lot in common. We’ve got a 30-year-old daughter (Cleo) that we’re deeply in love with and still incredibly close to. Life’s good. We live in Malibu and have horses and dogs and cats and chickens. We shovel s—, man. That keeps you humble,” he said.

The happy couple are content with their simple and quiet life, with Sam saying it’s the little things with the ones he loves most that keep him satisfied, such as taking walks on the beach with his daughter.

“I just really love being with Cleo. It doesn’t really matter what we’re doing,” he shared.

He added: “We’re rock hounds. My dad was a rock hound, I’m a rock hound, my daughter is now a rock hound. We pick up all these beautiful stones.”

Sam Elliott and Katharine Ross have spent so much time working together; it is a blessing that it only made their relationship stronger. Have you watched any of Ross and Sam's films or TV shows? Let us know, and be sure to send this story on to your friends and family.