According To Science Parents Of Successful Kids Have These 11 Things In Common

Feb 23, 2016 by apost team

Parents usually want their children to get good grades, keep away from trouble and find a fulfilling job later on. Unfortunately, there is no golden formula that guarantees that your children will turn out like this, however, scientists have referred to a couple of factors that can be favorable for your children’s future. The parents are responsible for most of these factors, which certainly shouldn’t be too surprising. Here’s a list of the things that parents of successful children have in common. 1.Their children have to do chores. During a TED Talk, Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of “How to Raise an Adult” stated that if kids weren’t doing the dishes, this meant that someone else was doing that for them. Thus, they never really learn that these kind of things need to be done. Lythcott-Haims is convinced that children who do chores will become better team players, be more understanding and manage to work independently, for they have experienced what struggling feels like. These finding are based on the “Harvard Grant Study”, which is the most elaborate long-term study that has been conducted up to now.

2. Their children acquire social skills. A study conducted by Pennsylvania State University and Duke University involving 700 children between kindergarten age and their mid 20s from various US states showed that children who start developing social skills at a young age are clearly going to succeed as grown-ups. The children who got along well with their peers, found solutions to problems by themselves and showed empathy, had a higher chance to graduate from college and be employed full-time by the age of 25 than those who struggled socially. They were far more likely to cause trouble later on, like committing a crime or drinking too much alcohol. This study that was conducted over a 20 year period made it evident that it is essential for children to acquire social skills in order to have a promising future. 3. They expect a lot from their children. By analyzing data from a national survey that included 6,600 kids who born in 2001, UCLA professor Neal Halfon and his associates found that the parents’ expectations is a significant factor in the development of their children. According to Halfon, parents who planned that their children were going to attend college, had different educational approaches than those who didn’t, regardless of their earnings or capital. 96% of the children whose parents expected an academic future from them did best on the standardized tests of this survey. These findings correlate with yet another psych theory called the Pygmalion effect. It claims that another person’s expectations will ultimately result in one’s self-fulfilling prognosis. Here, it is the children meeting their parents’ hopes. 4. They live in healthy relationships with each other. According to the University of Illinois, children whose parents are in a healthy relationship with one another tend to perform much better than children who come from dysfunctional families. The head of the Department of Human and Community Development, Robert Hughes Jr., even claimed that children growing up with a stable single parent turn out better than those in high-conflict families where both parents are still around. Hughes differentiates between conflicts prior to and after their divorce, both having negative effects on the kid, but the latter one affecting the children’s adjustment. A different study revealed that children who experienced conflict between their parents are likely to struggle with feelings of loss and regret later on in their lives, as well as pain and distress in the case of divorce. 5. They have an academic background themselves. In 2014, Sandra Tang, a psychologist from the University of Michigan, discovered that children whose moms graduated from high school or even college frequently pursue the same academic goals. The study, which focused on over 14,000 children, who started kindergarten at some point between 1998 and 2007, also reported that children whose moms were only 18 years or younger when they had them were less likely to graduate. A long-term study from 2009 of about 850 people in the semi-rural regions of New York found that the academic background of the parents notably predicted their children’s academic and professional success in their later life. 6. They teach their children math at an early stage. According to an analysis of 35,000 preschoolers in the US, England and Canada explained that math skills that were developed at a young age can highly affect their success. "The paramount importance of early math skills — of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary math concepts — is one of the puzzles coming out of the study," Greg Duncan, a researcher at Northwestern University stated in a press release and added that acquiring math skills early will not only make math classes easier but also benefit one’s reading skills later on. 7. They foster the relationship with their children. In 2014 a study was conducted of 243 people who grew up in poor families but whose parents had a close and positive relationship with them in the first three years were to perform better in academic tests at school but also found themselves in healthier relationships as well as experiences academic success in their 30s. “Sensitive caregiving” is characterized by responding immediately and correctly to their children’s needs and providing a safe haven while their children are growing up. Establishing strong bonds with your children from an early age on will probably benefit their later lives. 8. They are more relaxed. Recently an article of The Washington post stated that the amount of time mothers spend with their children from the age of 3 to 11 doesn’t reveal a lot about the child’s future. Too intensive caretaking, such as “helicopter parenting”, might even have a negative effect on the children. If mothers are stressed because they are trying to find enough time for their children between work and everything else, it can negatively impact the children’s behavior as Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist at Bowling Green State University stated. Emotions can spread like a cold, thus, if a person around you is happy, their mood will affect yours in a positive way and vice versa. Psychology speaks about a the phenomenon of emotional contagion. So if a parent is tired or discouraged, their child will be affected by it. 9. They appreciate the effort even if it means failure. A study conducted by Stanford University professor Carol Dweck found that there are two different ways to think about success: a “fixed mindset” and a “growth mindset”. A “fixed mindset” explains that we can’t meaningfully change our character, intelligence or creative skills for they are static elements. Success only affirms our inherent intellect. Consequently, pursuing personal success and trying to avoid failure under any circumstances will maintain the feeling of being intelligent and talented. A “growth mindset” is focused on challenge and failure is not a sign for your inabilities or that you are less intelligent than others. It is only a possibility to prosper and improve our skills. This distinction can extremely affect your performance and will also do influence your children’s abilities. Let’s say your kid got an A on their math test and you tell them they owe this grade to their innate intelligence, this will result in a “fixed mindset”. On the other hand, if you explain that they have aced their exam because they put a lot of effort in studying, it will create a “growth mindset”.

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10. The moms have a job. Research from Harvard Business School revealed that children will experience a positive effect if their moms have a job outside of their home. They found that daughters whose moms worked usually attended school longer, had higher salaries and worked in supervisory positions. Furthermore, the sons were found to do more housework and take care of the children more often - a significant 7.5 hours more of childcare and 25 more minutes on chores. The lifestyle of the parents is a role model for their children while growing up. Your daily routine, your work, your beliefs, your hobbies - all of this will signal to your children what’s appropriate and what isn’t as Kathleen L. McGinn, a professor from Harvard Business School, explained to the Business Insider. Growing up with a working mom will clearly influence how you feel about gender inequality. 11. They come from a higher socioeconomic background. It is a fact that one-fifth of the children in America live in poverty. These circumstances can extremely limit their possibilities in the future. And that’s not all. Sean Reardon, a researcher from Stanford University, claims that the achievement gap between children from families with high and low income born in 2001 has risen approximately 30% to 40% over the last 25 years. Dan Pink, the author of “Drive” has expressed his concerns over the fact that the income of the parents is directly connected to the children’s SAT scores. Did you like this article? Then share it with your friends and family to inform them about this phenomenon!