A Complete Guide To Maintaining Friendships, Even In Adulthood

Nov 14, 2018 by apost team

Relationships are an essential part of our lives. They shape the way we look at the world and help us grow as individuals. There is no doubt that relationships can be essential for our overall functioning, but with time, the number of people that we seem to have connections with tend to drop. In an ideal world, we would be able to get along and stay in touch with everyone that we like, but life often gets in the way, hindering the friendships that we maintain.

The older we get, the more we tend to distance ourselves from those who we were once close to. There is no denying that these can be hard when one has to juggle family and work commitments, and because of the time constraints, maintaining friendships can often take a back seat.

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A recent study showcased the age at which people tend to reach the peak of socialization, and estimate that men and women at the age of 25 have the most amount of friends that they would in their lifetime. However, as a person ages beyond this point, the number of social connections that they have deteriorates.

What we often fail to realize is the impact that having these social connections can have on our lives and even our health. The impact of losing a friend can be harsh on a person and can affect their overall well-being. In spite of this, the amount of work that we put into our friendships is often much lower than what one would anticipate, and these can lead to a strain on one’s overall health.

While one doesn't have to go out on the town every single night with different groups of people, there is a certain level of friendship that one must maintain. Having friends makes you feel like you have people to fall back on, and gives you a much bigger support system which would otherwise not be available to you.

A recent survey showcased the shocking statistic that over 42 million Americans who have crossed the forty-five age mark tend to experience chronic loneliness. This can further lead to a host of health complications that could be diminished by maintaining a healthy social life.

Even though having a few friends can greatly improve your life, people often tend to pay much less attention to this part of their wellbeing. The perception that having friends and enjoying yourself once in a while is something that is more of a luxury is a common thought, even though it should be seen as something that is.

The Expectation Game

One of the biggest reasons why people tend to fall out of touch with their friends is because of unfulfilled expectations. As we grow older, we tend to be caught up with life and all its work, and making time for your friends is not always easy. When trying to maintain friendships, people expect a certain commitment towards the things that they would want to indulge in with you. Not being able to fulfill those may lead to a feeling of being left out, which results in people falling apart.

Being clear about one’s expectations in a friendship is the right way to go about with this. Two friends must be on the same page about what to expect from one another, to not feel left out or disappointed with the manner in which things are working out. Communication is key to any successful relationship, and laying out the expectations is a brilliant way to start up this communication process.

All of us lead busy lives, but the phrase, “I’m too busy for this” is never favored. Even though this phrase might speak the truth, it gives the recipient the feeling of not being an important enough part of their lives. Moreover, it doesn't always let the recipient know the actual reason why you don’t want to do what you were supposed to, which is what often leads to friendships falling apart.

Instead of stating this phrase when you are caught up with something, add more depth to the reasoning. For example, if you were to meet someone at 5 pm, but have an important meeting, let them know about that, rather than just letting them know you are busy. Giving your friend the information that they would need to know that they are important can sometimes be incredibly beneficial.

Sometimes, the small gestures are all it takes to keep a relationship moving in a positive direction. Sometimes, something as simple as a thoughtful message can go a long way into cementing your friendship, helping you maintain it for longer. Letting them know about your day or something interesting that you saw is a great way to keep them interested and to make them feel good about getting to know you.

This is also something that could work well for you and your well being. Being able to tell people the little things about your life can help you vent or relieve any caught up stress. This can help you get the weight off your shoulders and can make you feel more supported with all that you do.

Even small actions that are incorporated into your routine can work well to support your friendships. Making a plan to have coffee every Tuesday, or watching a movie at home every Friday can be a few things that you and your friends could do to ensure that you stay close, and are there for each other.

Have you lost friends in adulthood or struggled to maintain adult friendships? Show this article to your friends and family to encourage everyone to get out there and make plans!