8 Behaviors Of An Emotionally Abusive Person

Oct 05, 2018 by apost team

Spotting an emotional abuser can be a challenge, but you can spot them even if they haven't shown their ugly side yet. While emotional abusers often seem charming initially, psychologists feel that these are common warning signs that you can see early on in the relationship:

While one form of gaslighting is denying previous incidents of abuse, there are other forms of it as well, and they all can have serious, lasting effects on your mental health. For instance, an abuser may claim that certain things occur that didn't happen, or they may admit that an incident occurred while invalidating your perception of it by saying things such as, "It wasn't as bad as you're saying" or "I didn't mean it like that" to mess with your perceptions of reality.

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Emotional abusers often have a tendency to become jealous of other people, but this is not entirely unique to emotional abusers. Often, abusers will become jealous when you have any significant amount of contact with other people than them. This can include your close friends or family members.

Essentially, this means that wherever you are, they will want to know exactly what you are doing at all times. If you do not tell them what you are doing, and/or you do something without checking in with them first, they may become upset.

Emotional abusers often say things to humiliate you in public, but they will try to brush the behavior off as a "joke". This is a sign of an emotional abuser that has sinister intentions, and it's even more of a red flag if they refuse to listen to you when you have expressed discomfort with what they did.

Not only do they start arguments with you, but the arguments are set up so that you cannot win. Basically, they use these arguments as a way to play the victim, and then they'll spin the situation around to make you apologize.

People who are emotionally abusive often have a strangely "nice" side of them when they are not overtly being abusive, and they have a tendency to give lavish gifts and/or put you on a pedestal during this period of time. However, the person will have a tendency to change their behavior rapidly and turn abusive, but typically they will appear to return to their "nice" side again only to become overtly abusive again in a cyclical fashion.

In most cases, emotional abusers tend to feel that others are either with them or against them, and there is very little middle ground. If you respond to them in a way that could be considered neutral, it's likely to be considered hostile as they require constant admiration. If someone's black and white thinking prevents them from being able to see the nuances in a situation and make compromises, there is a very strong chance that they are emotionally abusive.

Essentially, emotional abusers are able to turn affection into a manipulation tactic. If you begin to act on your own accord in any way, they may give the silent treatment or generally give you a bit of the cold shoulder. This can cause someone to begin living their lives to please their partner, and they might not even know it.

Emotional abusers seek to twist and distort reality. Being subjected to this treatment can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, physical symptoms, and reduced sex drive over time.

If you are dealing with someone who is emotionally abusive or the aftermath of emotional abuse, you should seek advice from a professional counselor, and it's important to make sure that you find a counselor that is familiar with emotional abuse. Leave your comments below, and tell your friends about this article.