7 Relationship Behaviors That Are Sure To Creep Your Partner Out

Jul 04, 2018 by apost team

We all have annoying behaviors, right? Caring about a person despite those annoyances is part of what defines love as love. So how do you tell when your actions surpass idiosyncratic tests of devotion and delve into creepy? 

My friend’s husband does this snapping motion without sound across his leg anytime he’s creatively thinking. It annoys her as much as it warms her of an impending backyard project. Yet, they still have a quality, loving, devoted relationship. That’s an idiosyncratic test that she’s passed since their first date. 

Now, there are those things that we do that creep our partners out, make them uncomfortable, and withdrawn from the relationship moving forward. 

You, for example, are curious about a new mate’s social life, views, friends, and overall history. You turn to social media to check everything out. No boundaries are crossed into Creepville, right? You’ve gathered some info about how your mate thinks and behaves without harm or intrusion. 

But, now let’s say that you begin commenting on every old pic on Instagram, send friend requests to their friends and family that you’ve never met or barely know on Facebook, and feel like you have to be first to respond on all their Tweets on Twitter. Few people wouldn’t be a lot creeped out by such behavior, whether your curious mannerisms are otherwise adorable or not to them. 

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Of course, creepy dating behaviors do not have to be so extreme or intentional. It can actually be quite difficult to tell when your behaviors shift into the offensive, obtrusive, pushy, overbearing realm since they may be as much automatic habit for you as they are red flags for your partner. You can often determine when lines are crossed with some introspection - would you be creeped out if the tables were turned? Let’s look at some common creepy red flags and you can be the judge. 

Couples have both mutual and individual decisions throughout a relationship. One partner may make better decisions in one area and the other a different area, and they divide the bulk of certain decisions based on each other’s skills. But, the weight of every single decision about every single facet of life should not fall to the shoulders of just one partner. 

Giving total decision power to a partner depletes you of your self-identity and places an unfair burden upon your partner that leaves him/her to blame for everything and anything that goes wrong. Beginning a relationship without autonomous decisions will creep your partner out. 

A study published in Psychology Today on speed dating found that there was only a 4% chance for a long-term relationship from speed dating. That kind of statistic isn’t shocking considering any connection beyond physical requires an overload of too much info, too fast - oversharing. 

Any relationship develops from communication and learning about one another, but talking about too much, too soon can make for uncomfortable, awkward situations that leave the recipient creeped out because they don’t yet have the context of knowing you better over time or understanding your motives for the overshare. 

Continually finding ways to insert yourself into every topic of conversation doesn’t make you look like the supreme being of catches. Comparing and bringing up the past in every topic of conversation doesn’t make you look like the supreme being of catches. Approaching ‘get to know me’ like it’s a resume of achievements and accolades will not make you look like the supreme being of catches. All that you’ve accomplished with the above is to make your partner feel less than, uncomfortable, and better off watching The Kardashians. 

Whether it’s looks, mannerisms, behaviors, voice, or anything else, please do not tell your partner they resemble your parent, sibling, or ex. You’ve just killed any intimacy they were feeling and creeped them right out the emergency exit door. 

Here’s a hard one for you. Some partners are very affectionate in action, but they become uncomfortable when words become affectionate too quickly. Others are the opposite. And, some don’t like either too fast. It can be hard to know if your behaviors come across as standoffish from not wooing or desperate by wooing too much. The wrong combo and timing can creep a partner out. Go slow. Do subtle trial runs to feel out your partner’s reactions to various types and levels of intimacy. If anything feels off, back off and reset the tempo. 

Friends and family are usually serious boundaries for most people. When dating someone, they want to control how and when a partner meets those closest to them. If you leech onto their social media pages to friend their friends and family before that intro has taken place and you develop a rapport, you’ll creep your partner out and most likely have them very angry that you’ve invaded their privacy boundaries. Friending all your partner's friends is a horrible idea even once the relationship has depth because it may give them the impression you’re a social climber or want to keep tabs on them 24/7. 

Texting bridges communication gaps, but it can also be a gateway to becoming single real fast if you abuse it. People vary in how they feel about keeping in contact with their partner, with some preferring only meaningful communications during working hours, some liking short and sweet check-ins throughout the day, and others liking the non-stop volley of wits. 

But, the likelihood of someone not being creeped out by a barrage of WYD texts they keep not answering or minimally answering is slim. Judge your texting and calling patterns based on the partner’s responses to determine if it’s too much. Respect boundaries; using a phone during working hours can be grounds for termination in some places of employment. 

So, how many are your guilty of doing? How has your behaviors affected your relationships? Comments, questions, or stories? Let us know and pass this on to your friends and loved ones who are also guilty of some of these behaviors!