6 Behaviours That Repel People (And How To Change Them)

Jan 07, 2019 by apost team

As Abraham Lincoln used to say, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all of the time”.

We want to think that our behaviour is always pleasant to everyone we meet, but the fact is that not everything we say or do will vibe with everyone we come in contact with. Many times this “repulsion” it is not even a flaw in our character per se, but just the outcome of two people with different likes & dislikes expressing their views.

That being said, some common behaviours tend to push people away most of the time - 6 of them to be exact. You may or may not be exhibiting one or more of them but don’t you think you should read on to find out if you are using the following “unpleasant” behavioural traits on a regular basis? More importantly, wouldn’t you want to know how to rectify them if you were?

Following are the 6 behaviours that repel people.

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Are you always telling people how bad it is? There is nothing more you could do to dampen someone’s mood than to continuously discuss how horrible life is and how everything is going down the toilet bowl. No doubt there are a lot of valleys in life but that is no reason to overlook the hills. If you are always focusing on what brings you down, you will bring other people down and they will obviously not want to hang around you.

The Cure: Focus on solutions more than on problems. This goes for your own life plus others. If you are a problem solver, people will look to you for advice when they are in the dumps. You will be an automatic inspiration and will be known as a rising tide that lifts all sails even during periods where there is no wind.

Who likes selfish people?

The only person who does, is the selfish person themselves. Being inconsiderate of others, only thinking about yourself, and looking for what you can gain in every situation & interaction are true signs of selfishness. The thing is that you don’t even have to express selfishness outwardly many of the times as people can sense one who cares only about themselves a mile away and therefore will stay miles away if they smell the stench of selfishness on someone.

The Cure: If you want to get rid of selfishness, even at its most subtlest of levels, give and share. It seems ironic that the more you give, the more you receive but nothing could be truer. People will not only flock to your giving, sympathetic, and caring nature, they will reciprocate it 10 fold if you only take the first step, which in this case is giving of yourself in a way that benefits others.

It is true that cynicism can be funny at times but overdoing it leads others to feel bad about themselves and the world around them. Being too cynical leads to a constant pessimistic outlook that does not help the situation at all. Maybe you don’t mind looking at the darker side of life all the time but other people do.

The Cure: Balance your cynicism with a constructive outlook. Give other people and situations the benefit of the doubt and don’t think everyone is doing something for selfish motives. Remember, you see the world through the lens of your own perceptions, so if you want to see the good side of people then generate the positive within yourself first. Your positive outlook will attract the same in others and you will be a pleasure to be around.

No one is better than anyone else. While people may do some pretty bad things, hate the crime and not the criminal, so to speak. Putting yourself above others and believing that you are flawless puts a barrier between you and them. This barrier does not let others get to know the real you, the one who believes all people are equal but just express themselves in different ways.

The Cure: Do not put people who have different beliefs, values, and ways of life in a lower class than yourself. Look to everyone as an expression of life itself and while some of those expressions may not resonate with yours, this does not mean that you are better or they are worse. Looking on everyone with “equality” is the cure for self-righteous behavior.

In other words, being egocentric and narcissistic. Do you like people who always talk about themselves? Sure, at times your story is relevant to the present situation and can actually benefit others but constant boasting, bragging, and just plain thinking that you are the center of everyone's universe is going to make you stand out like a dead fish in a rose garden - everyone wants to run away from the smell of a dead fish even if they are surrounded by the beautiful scent of roses!

The Cure: Give others a chance to express themselves and ask them about what they think and feel every once in awhile. People want confirmation that they matter, so give them a chance to tell their story too. You may even learn something new that may benefit you by actually listening to others every once in awhile.

Also referred to as perfectionism, the idea that you yourself are perfect is a pipe dream at best. No one is perfect, there is no such thing as “perfect” as this term carries different connotations by every single person on this planet. Perfectionism leads to nitpicking, especially when it comes to other people, which ultimately really ticks them off after a while.

The Cure: Don’t be so hard on people - this includes yourself. Always trying to live up to some dream of the perfect behavior or scenario takes the joy out of life and eliminates the imperfections we humans have, which in a weird way makes us perfect after all. Strive for excellence in yourself and encourage others to do the same but never think that you or anyone else is perfect.

Do you feel that you exhibit any of these behaviours? If so, do you feel you can use the recommended remedies to counteract any of them? What type of behaviours do you think should be added to the list? Let us know, we would love to hear your answers and if you have anything else to add, please do so in the comment section. Also, if you think that others may benefit from this article mention it to them in the most unobtrusive way possible, lest they think you are hinting to them that their behaviour stinks and needs to be rectified!