Woman Stirred Family Drama After Refusing To Skip A Vacation Trip That She Paid For Her Ex’s Family

Jul 28, 2023

Planning vacation trips are fun, especially when you know that you’ll be having a blast and a good time with the people you care about and love. However, the process of securing accommodation, airline tickets, activities, spa treatments and even restaurants can be especially excruciating, especially if you are doing it by yourself with no one to help you. 

A woman stirred family drama after holding hostage the ticket and accommodation information for a family vacation trip she just planned. Taking to the AITA thread on Reddit in July 2023, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was in the wrong for withholding such information and making the family choose between two rather reasonable choices. 

While the predicament seemed to be simple at first, the family that OP planned for was her ex-boyfriend’s.

“Before our breakup, we were invited to a destination wedding of his cousin in Hawaii. I was asked to make the arrangements for flights and hotel. I didn’t mind, so we made the arrangements together, selecting the place and flight times and I put it all on my credit card with the promise that they would pay back their portions when they could,” she explained, pointing out that each person owed $2000.

Per OP, she didn’t mind paying off the whole trip first as she was happy to do it to save them interest since they would have opted to use a credit card. However, OP and her boyfriend have since broken up, but she elaborated that the break up was amicable which was to her liking too. 

At one point after they broke up, her ex-boyfriend’s mother asked for her flight and hotel information. OP then “politely reminded” the mother that they would need to pay her back first before she could give out the information. OP noted that at the time she was approached by the mother, three months had passed since she'd paid for the tickets. She also asked if they would reimburse her for her own portion of the accommodation since she and her boyfriend had already broken up and she would not be attending. 

“At first her response was cool, but polite saying that I would get my money eventually. I didn’t respond. She wrote back again with a much different tone demanding the information for the hotel/Airbnb and I said I was causing undo stress while they were planning for this big trip,” she recalled. 

Still politely responding, OP said that she would “happily” share the information after she gets reimbursed. However, the mother said she wouldn’t be reimbursed for her portion of the accommodation expenses and even blackmailed her and said she'd “tell everyone how terrible I was for holding the hotel information hostage.” 

OP then texted her ex-boyfriend and asked about the whole encounter and why it took a sharp turn. 

“He said I was being unreasonable and making everything about money which was unfair since I knew they were struggling financially and I wasn’t. I said that it didn’t feel very fair to me that I was basically paying for them to go on this trip and getting nothing,” OP continued to say. 

The ex-boyfriend assured OP that they would work on paying back when things got better for them financially, but OP still refused as that would not leave her any guarantee of when it would be fulfilled.

Since her ex-boyfriend’s party wouldn't budge, OP thought of a compromise. The entire family would share a room at the hotel and the rented house, while she stayed in another room – that way, she could still enjoy the money that she shelled out for while also letting the family enjoy the vacation. 

“I told him that I’m still within the range to cancel the reservations if that was a better fit which he also didn’t like since prices are much higher and places are harder to find now. I won’t attend the wedding of course, but I don’t see why I can’t take the vacation that I planned and paid for,” she furthered. 

Redditors agreed that OP was definitely not in the wrong in the scenario. 

“NTA. It’s been several months and you haven’t been reimbursed for even a portion of the trip. IMO, since you’ve paid for everything it’s your vacation to enjoy. If you can afford it, why not just cancel the extra airline tickets, keep the AirBnB, and have a lovely time in Hawaii on your own?” a user suggested. 

“If you hadn’t been dating their son, they would not have planned on going to a destination wedding that they could not afford. Cancel the accommodations**, get your money back and remind them that you are not a lending institution and then block all of them. **or go in a nice Hawaii vacation with friends who will pay their way upfront,” another recommended. 

“NTA, but the only way you'll ever get your money back for their flights and accommodations is to cancel. They seem to think they're entitled to a free trip at your expense. They're never going to pay you back,” a Redditor wrote. 

What can you say about OP’s experience? What do you suggest she do with her problem? Do you agree with other people’s suggestions? Let us know, and pass this on to your family and friends!