Woman Gets Accused Of Fat-Shaming For Refusing To Let Overweight Friend Ride Her Horse

Jul 13, 2023

Riding animals require more than someone’s confidence and willingness to ride it. In the case of horses, one must also possess the patience, the gentleness, and even the skill to command it. Aside from that, one must also consider that they, too, are living creatures and not machines, all capable of getting exhausted, tired, and incapacitated. 

A woman took to the AITA thread on Reddit and sought the insights of Redditors in wondering whether she was in the wrong for declining her friend who wanted to ride her horse. 

The Original Poster (OP) revealed that she has two horses; one was in its mid-20s while the other was nearing 30s already. The older one was smaller and had some back and hip issues. Despite this, the colt is still in great shape. At one point, OP brought her friends to ride horses.

They ride the older one instead of the younger one because the latter was very sensitive and not friendly for beginners, while the other one was not that sensitive and is “great for all levels of riding.” OP also mentioned that she was “selective” of who rides the younger horse because of the steep hills they have to traverse. 

The problem came when one of her friends, who was over 200 pounds and uninformed about horses, asked to ride with her on the younger one. 

“I said no and was honest about why, but still offered for her to come groom them and spend time with them on the ground,” OP recalled saying. However, OP’s friend took offense at her refusal.

OP was transparent in her recollection of the events in her post. She recounted how her friend resorted to taking offense at her simple refusal to use her horse. 

“She went straight to the body shaming tactic, I was skinny so I don’t understand, the horse is fine if she’s always galloping around with me, bigger people deserve to ride too, she’s shorter than me so it evens out, I’m gate keeping horses, etc,” OP recalled. 

OP stood by her decision and explained, "I just told her my horse was an animal with limitations, not a machine, and that I’m not going to sacrifice her welfare to spare her feelings."

 OP’s friend was furious and hadn’t spoken to her since. 

“Some friends (who all re also not into horses) think one ride would be fine and I’m being an asshole about her weight. I strongly disagree, I even agreed with her that bigger people can ride, they just need a horse suitable for their size and my horse is not that. So, AITA?” she asked the thread. 

Further into her post, OP clarified that she had friends who were bigger and overweight before who did not take offense when she declined. 

Apparently, the offended friend wasn’t her direct friend but was a friend of a friend. 

“She’s not too big to ride in general, she would just need a horse suitable for her and unfortunately neither of mine fit the bill. Her size and other issues unfortunately severely limits who I can take riding," OP clarified in her post. 

In the comment section of the AITA thread, Redditors are in unison that OP was not offensive at all, as there is no better way to decline her. 

“NTA. The animal's welfare comes before someone's feelings. It's a shitty situation you found yourself in but you did the right thing. There was no "nice" way of telling her No. What more can you do?” a user wrote in the comments. 

“There was a nice way of telling her 'no'. It was saying 'No.' There's also a nice way of taking a 'no'. She did not take it with grace and decided to make everything about her. That's her problem,” another echoed.

“NTA. What are you going to do, injure your horse so that you can avoid an uncomfortable social situation?” someone said. 

While others laud OP for her firm decision to say “NO” to her friend, many of the Redditors affirmed and assured OP that she did not do something wrong. 

“NTA. I'm lighter than your friend but still overweight, and if someone asks my weight for riding (I go every year or two) I will tack on an extra 15-20 pounds because I don't want to be near the limit of what that horse can carry. I want to be relatively easy on the horse,” a user shared.

“NTA. (Horse girl here) it’s your horse and you know their limitations and it’s your decision ultimately,” a Redditor posted. 

“NTA I am a horse person and I would not be putting a 200lb person on something smaller than a draft cross,” one commented. 

What can you say about OP’s decision to refuse her friend to ride her horse? Do you think she was in the wrong for refusing her? Would you have done something differently if you were in her shoes? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones!