Woman Criticizes Her ‘Penny Pinching’ Date Who Earns More But Demands They Split The Bill

Sep 07, 2023

The dynamics between two people who are in a relationship have changed over the years. Dating alone has evolved in so many ways over the past few decades. The courting process, for one, has become more casual between two people. Of course, there are still those who follow the traditional ways of courting depending on one’s culture. Then again, the presence of dating apps has changed the game for everyone who wants to enter the dating scene. In the past, men were expected to pay the bill during first dates. Now, it’s a two-way street for a lot of couples. But again, it depends on the setup between a couple. If they mutually agree to something, then there’s nothing wrong with different approaches.

In the case of user Sara1003 on Mumsnet, she wondered if she would be wrong to demand to her date that they should not pay the bills evenly.

“I have been seeing this guy who is nearly 50. He earns 3 times my salary. He always makes sure we pay even amounts but this sometimes ends up as me paying more,” she explained. 

The original poster (OP) detailed that sometimes, when her date paid for their dinner, she had to make it up by paying for two lunches in return. In August 2023, OP recounted a time she and her date went on a trip. She was shocked to be asked for half of the petrol of the car they drove in. 

“I always drive to his and never ask for this plus sometimes I treat friends and don’t expect anything in return. Should I be wary of this or am I being unfair,” she said. 

The comments on the thread were sympathetic toward OP, to which she said she appreciates. 

“I am staunchly in favour of paying your own way on dates. (I got a bit of a hammering on the thread about the woman who paid for an expensive meal because of crossed wires). But this is miserly and penny pinching. Asking for petrol money when you earn 3x the salary - no thanks. He sounds like he’s going to be a nuisance further down the line,” a user said. 

Another user even suggested being “as nit picky and arsey” as her date: “Screw this OP Yes I agree paying your way is one thing but someone paying for dinner then saying you "owe" two lunches WTactualF. I would say, not really if you want it to be like this I owe you one similarly priced dinner,” 

A user even pointed out that if she were in OP’s scenario, it would be a “deal breaker” for her and pointed out that she was “all in favour of paying” her own way but not to that “extreme.” 

“I'd chuck this one back Op, it's fine to both pay your way but he's taking it a bit too far. It's one thing to take turns paying but he's telling you it's your turn as if you'll try and get out of it, that's just rude. If you lived together would he expect you to pay 50% of everything even though that left him with a decent sum and you with nothing?” another user posted.

Other users suggested OP either ditch or dump her date because of his attitude.

Do you think OP would be wrong to demand splitting the bill? Or do you think the person she is dating should pay for it since he earns much more? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones to know their opinions about it!