Woman Contemplates Banning Husband From Baby Shower & Their Child’s Birth Following His Reaction About The Baby’s Gender

Sep 28, 2023

Baby showers are great for parents and their friends as it is an occasion where they celebrate the life of their unborn child, so they do their best to serve the best food, decorate, and prepare for the future ahead.

However, one user shared her thoughts online about not inviting her husband to the special day due to his unexpected reaction to the gender of their child. Let’s dive into her story and check out what other people thought of her idea.

A user named blackcompucase took to the AITA thread on Reddit in January 2023 to share her story and seek out advice from other people. She wrote:

"My husband (29yo) and I (28yo) have a daughter (3yo), he was happy when I told him she was a girl. We're having another and when I had my ultrasound, I was told it was another girl, again my husband was Happy."

They already had a daughter, and he was happy when she told him the gender of their first baby. When they found out that the baby would be a girl again, the father of the baby was happy about it.

Later on, things turned upside down as they were told the initial assessment was wrong because it turned out that the baby was a boy all along.

“Turns out I was told wrong, and it's actually a boy we're having, ny my husband freaked out in excitemet,” she wrote.

Based on the tone of her writing, it seemed like the woman was disappointed with her partner as he reacted differently when he found out that it was a boy compared to his reaction when the baby was assessed as a girl.

“His reaction to us having a boy was nothing like his either of his reactions to having a girl. He was actually jumping around and yelling, he immediately called all his friends and family, he kept hugging and swinging our daughter around telling her she's getting a brother,” she wrote.

Later in her post, the woman said she had confronted her husband about not being excited about having baby girls. He told his wife that the reason why he reacted that way was because he “wanted a boy” and the woman got “p***ed off.”

Given her disappointment with his response, the woman contemplated excluding her husband from the baby shower despite his previous enthusiasm, although she clarified that it was “not really a baby shower” as they were not asking for anything. In addition, she also didn’t want him to be present on her date of birth.

Initially, the man thought his wife was just joking at the time, but when he began to realize that things were serious, both of them started to argue with one another.

Following this, other users offered their suggestions about the woman’s situation. There were some who agreed, as they said they would be disappointed too, but the wife needed to do a reflection on her actions.

“No judgment, as I would be disgusted too. But please talk with him after you’ve had a chance to reflect, and be honest about your feelings rather than doling out 'punishments,'" one wrote.

Another one seemed to have disagreed as they wrote, “By your own acknowledged he wasn't sad or angry about having a girl, he was happy. He was just happier to have a boy. You're reading into this way too much.”

Another user expressed similar sentiments as they wrote, “He was never upset about having a girl, he is just excited to have a boy. Nothing wrong with that. He has probably always wanted to have a son, and that’s okay!”

One commenter noted that the woman overreacted over the matter, and she made a big deal about the issue.

“You're making a big deal out of this and your reaction could in fact erode your relationship. Don't grow resentment over something like this,” they wrote.

One user offered their advice to the woman as they noted that she shouldn’t do what she had initially planned because it would be a “sore spot” for years or even forever.

The user added that the couple should talk about the incident and she should explain her side.

“Talk it through with him. Explain that you’re worried he’s going to play favorites, you’re worried that his reaction means he’s going to perpetuate sexist norms with your kids, you’re hurt at the thought that he wouldn’t have really loved another daughter, etc.” they wrote.

One commenter noted that if the situation happened to them, they would be upset too, but they told the user to discuss her concerns with her husband.

“The best thing is to discuss your concerns. Your decision while may seem reasonable to you, would not help alleviate the concern you have. Talk,” they wrote.

“Grow up and stop the pettiness. Your husband is excited to have a son, your petty desire for revenge, will guarantee turn around to bite you in the heinie,” one commented.

As of September 2023, the woman didn’t give any update on whether her husband was invited to her baby shower or if she had already given birth.

Would you be disappointed if your partner reacted differently regarding the gender of your child? What would you do if this situation ever happened to you? Let us know your thoughts, and make sure to pass this on to your friends and family.