Will Smith Breaks Down As He Talks About His Challenging Father And The Way It Shaped His Parenting

Mar 01, 2022

A-list actor Will Smith, 53, is known for his Hollywood roles on the big screen, but he's also a true family man. Married to Jada Pinkett Smith, 50, Will is a proud father to his three children. His eldest is 29-year-old Trey Smith, who he had with his first wife, while together with Pinkett Smith, Will has son Jaden, 23, and daughter Willow, 21. The entire family often attends events together and are proud supporters of one another.

For a Father's Day special in 2020, Will gave an intimate interview on his wife's show, "Red Table Talk," where he discussed his experience of fatherhood openly. For the episode, Pinkett Smith's usual co-hosts — her daughter and mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones — were not there, which made the talk a particularly close one between husband and wife.

The topic was fatherhood and to start, Will first talked about his own father, Willard Carroll Smith Sr., who was a turbulent force in the household where Will grew up. The actor revealed that his father was abusive towards his mother, Caroline Bright. He said:

"My father had a little bit of a temper. I was a gentle kid, like, I was not a kid that you had to slap or punch or beat. So growing up in a household where physical aggression was approved of, that really chafed my hide. That hurt my spirit."

Will claimed that his father's mistakes and flaws were painful at the time, but that he was able to learn from them so that he could take away the negative aspects and understand how to be a better dad to his own kids.  

Having seen his father become aggressive, Will knew exactly the traits that he himself didn't want to possess when he eventually became a dad. He admitted that he had wanted to be a father since he was 6 years old. Even as a child, Will was mature enough to understand what constituted good parenting. He said:

"I loved how my family was, but there were massive critical deficiencies in my father's parenting that I wanted to correct."

He added:

“By the time I was 10 years old, I remember looking at my father, thinking I could do it better than him."

However, despite having noticed his father's shortcomings, Will was quick to point out the number of superpowers his dad possessed. First up from the "spectacular" aspects of his character was the fact that he was a teacher. Will explained that "every single moment was a teaching moment." He elaborated:

"He believed that school wasn't the only place you got an education, and school was actually in his way. And his thing was, 'you can’t father from a distance.' He wanted his kids beside him while he was doing the thing he was best in the world at so he could be seen in his best light and he could teach from moment to moment."

Willard's inspiring work as a teacher was demonstrated in an interview that Will had filmed with him prior to his passing in 2016 from cancer. In the clip, Willard told a story that he taught his children when they were young and that Will revealed is the lesson he comes back to the most in his life. 

Willard spoke about an old building he had purchased that was in extreme disrepair. Together with his children, he planned to build it back up. While the kids thought it was an impossible task, he told them, "If we just lay one perfect brick at a time, we'll have a good foundation and it'll last." They started working on the building in spring and around Christmas Eve, they managed to close the roof off. Willard said the kids were so happy, and as he fought back tears, he stated:

"See? We can accomplish anything we work hard enough to accomplish, if we just put our mind to it."

He added:

"I think that's probably one of the best lessons that I've ever taught. And it's true, if you build a good solid foundation, then it's gonna be long-lasting, and you're gonna have a much better building. And the building is you."

Will and Pinkett Smith were moved to tears, as the actor spoke about how important that lesson had been in his life. He said that it perfectly described his father's teaching methods and that the process helped him lose his fear of things that are impossible. He added that his father's lessons helped him father his three children, as he didn't enforce school as the only form of education. He added:

"I learned that everywhere is school. That anything you do, you have to do it well. Getting good grades isn't above cleaning the kitchen."

Will said that lesson and "the idea of having to contribute" were the biggest influences on his parenting.  

The actor spoke further about growing up with his father:

"Well there’s such beautiful qualities that he instilled that are a big part of what made me 'me,' and as the yin to every yang, I watched (my father) beat up my mother. So the biggest emotional scar that I have in this lifetime, he delivered that also. He showed me a lot of things that I wanted to do, but he also showed me the things I would absolutely, positively never do to my children."

Will then discussed how his initial experience of becoming a father at only 24-years-old was daunting. He described it as the first time he felt the true responsibility of parenthood. He admitted:

"I think that was my first moment of the real weight of parenting. I brought him home, and I remember we put him in the bassinet … and it was like stark terror. I’m totally responsible for this life … I just cried so hard. It makes me teary right now."

He got quite emotional as he wiped away tears and even asked for a tissue at one point. He was determined not to let the anxieties and worries get in the way of him being a great dad. Pinkett Smith agreed with Will, as she stated that his father inspired her husband's persevering nature.

"It was (always) like, 'my father did this,' 'my father did that,' 'when I'm a parent ...' and then it hit me how fragile parenting is. And in that moment I could see all the spectacular lessons — what my father had instilled in me — and it was like, there's no way. I'm not that good, but you know how my mind works: I got a good night's sleep and (it was) game on," Will concluded.  

Did you know about Will Smith's family story? Can you relate to his experience of parenthood? Let us know, then pass this on to those you know so they can read about it too.