Why I Wish You Were Still Here

Apr 09, 2018

Every day I fantasize about how great life would be if you were still around. I never knew how much I needed you until I heard your deafening silence.

The scariest part about losing you is that I'm forgetting what your voice sounds like. It used to be so clear when I heard you every day, but maybe I took you for granted and didn't really hear what you were saying. I miss your laugh echoing through the house. I miss every bad thing in the world disappearing after a big hug. Everyone always tells me that time heals every wound, but what if it can't?

I try to be happy because I know that's what you would've wanted, but I'm getting pretty tired of faking every smile. Just when I start to feel like maybe I can gather the shards of my life and start to heal, something reminds me of you.

I moved into college without your help. I got through my first heartbreak. Holidays have passed without your presence. I've done great things without you here, but I still wish you could see it.

What would you think of me now? So much has changed. I'm envious of all the other dads and daughters going to lunch, seeing a movie, and surprising the other with a visit at their home. I know it's impossible, but I still hope that it's you when I hear the phone ring or a knock at the door. You used to be so loud and present.

My life will never be the same without you. I won't have you cheering for me when I walk across the stage at my graduation. I will have to walk down the aisle of my wedding without you there to hold me. My children will be deprived of having the best grandfather a kid could have. 

But I know I can do this. You taught me that I can do anything, so I live each day with purpose now. I'll live enough for the both of us. I miss you every second, Dad.

Send this story to all of your friends to remind them to call their dads to tell them "I love you" before they can't anymore.