To The Grandparent Who Left Us Too Soon

Apr 05, 2016

A lot of time has passed since I last saw you. I often find myself wondering what you would sound and look like today after so many years have gone by. Would you still have those glasses with the thick lenses? Would you still be making everyone laugh until they cried with your quick-witted one-liners? I do my best to remember you by looking at old photos or home videos. You look so happy in them. We look so happy in them. Your illness took you away from us much too soon.
 

With this message I want to let you know that I love you and that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for only quickly saying hello to you before running off to play hide-and-seek with my cousins. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you for your advice or to tell me stories. I’m sorry I didn’t just sit and talk to you, even if it had just been about random things. I'm sorry I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to learn as much as I could from you. I'm sorry I distanced myself when I heard you were dying. I'm sorry I was so afraid instead of being strong for you. If I could go back in time, I would change all of these things in a heartbeat.

Since you've left this world, I've slowly come to terms with the fact that you won't be at my graduation, my wedding or at the hospital if and when I have children, and holidays will never be the same without you. My heart breaks a little more each and every time I think about this. Why did you have to get sick? Life just isn’t fair.

On some days I refuse to believe that you're actually gone, and sometimes my disbelief turns into anger. Why did God decide to take you away so soon and not someone else? However, in these difficult moments I finally find peace and comfort. It may be a penny on the ground, a simple ray of sunshine on a cloudy day or someone using your favorite catchphrase by chance that lets me know you're watching over me. I promise to keep your memory alive and to honor your time here on Earth. I want you to know that we will meet again someday. I miss you and love you always.