Teen Returns To Distraught Mom Asking For Money Years After Choosing To Live With Cheating Dad

Aug 21, 2023

A great mother-daughter relationship is one that every mother hopes for to form a long-lasting bond. Every mother wants to have an irreplaceable bond with her daughter and even become best friends with them. However, not all mothers get to enjoy this beautiful relationship, especially when there is a separation in the marriage.

In January 2022, a Reddit user with the username Dizzy_Ad_3539 shared the story of how her relationship with her daughter, Kelly, was cut short because she divorced her cheating husband. The user revealed that their daughter, who decided to cut off all communication with her and live with her father, returned after years of heartbreak.

Being separated from your only child can be very disheartening as a parent. Also, getting a divorce could affect the children positively or negatively. The (original poster) OP gave an insight into the reason for her divorce. A few weeks after welcoming their first child, the Redditor caught her husband cheating. 

This broke her heart, and she thought of filing for a divorce, but her family and in-laws were against the idea. This was because her in-laws were “traditional conservatives who didn’t want to deal with the public scandal.” Her parents also kicked against divorce due to “access to the money and perks” her spouse provided for them. 

The OP revealed that her ex helped her brother get a high-paying job during her marriage, paid off her sister’s debt, and lavished presents on her parents. Also, her family convinced her to stay with him because she “owed it to Kelly to fight for her to have the stability of a two-parent household.” She was also accused of not "performing your wifely duties since you got pregnant.” 

However, when her husband cheated for a second time years later, the Redditor decided to end things. The OP stated that she tried hard to keep her daughter out of the drama during the divorce process, but things went awry. She noted:

“I wanted to keep Kelly out of this as much as possible, but my in-laws and my own parents poisoned her against me by painting me as a hypocrite for telling her how important forgiveness is, but that I wasn't willing to forgive Daddy even when he was really sorry.”  

The OP felt desolate about the turn of events, but she had her close friend, Tina, by her side. She revealed that her friend stood by her throughout the legal separation process. In the end, she received “a nice settlement and some alimony,” but she was denied custody. However, she was determined to keep up with her child. The mom shared:

“I tried my hardest to still be in Kelly's life but by the time she was a teen she was fully convinced that I was the bad guy and told the courts she didn't want to see me anymore. I was heartbroken but kept reaching out.”

The mom moved on with her life and returned to school, where she studied accounting and got a good job after graduation. Being estranged from her daughter, the Reddit user formed a special bond with her goddaughter, Laura, who was Tina’s child.

The OP wrote that years following the divorce, her ex’s fortune took a turn for the worse. A former employee sued him, and he eventually got fired from his place of work. With his source of income gone, the man tried to keep up his lavish lifestyle by spending all his savings and burrowed into Kelly's college funds. 

Kelly suddenly contacted her mother, which made the user believe her daughter only wanted money. Kelly’s mom was hurt that her daughter mainly contacted her because of her finances. Eventually, the OP “agreed to pay for her to go to grad school on the condition that she sign an agreement that she won’t contest my will where I’m leaving most of what I owned to Tina's daughter ...”  

However, this decision was seen as drastic by some of the family members she was still on good terms with. The Redditor stated that they felt such an action could “damage any chance at rebuilding a relationship with Kelly.” They also felt it was better she split her property in half. However, Kelly’s mom noted, “I don't want to have the type of relationship with Kelly that I feel like I have to pay for.”  

In an edit, she further explained that she had no contact with her brother and was barely speaking to her parents. She also relayed that her best friend, Tina, was the only person recognized in her power of attorney document.

Other Reddit users took to the comments to share their opinion as they agreed that the OP was NTA. One person advised her to “ignore” Kelly as she only returned because “things aren't looking good.” Another suggested: “Leave Kelly a small amount of the inheritance. It will make it harder for her to contest the will.”

While some users asked the OP to forgive her daughter, others said it was up to her whether she chooses to forgive, but added, "You don't have to give her any money if you don't want to." Someone else suggested the mother and daughter go to a therapist to help build their relationship. 

Do you think the Redditor's decision will mar any chance of reconciliation with her daughter? What would you do differently in a similar situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to others.