Teen Misses Out On Surprise Vacation To Hawaii After Refusing To Go Home

Jul 20, 2023

Divorce can be hard on children. Even 50/50 custody, where the child gets to spend equal time with both parents, does not solve the impact of divorce on children. While the arrangement may work perfectly for the parents as it allows them to share the responsibility of parenting equally, it is not quite favorable for the children. 

This does not imply that children do not experience the pros of the arrangement. However, the difficulty of the children's adjustment to the arrangement, the potential for conflict, and inconvenient logistics may have a lasting impact on them.

While kids may not show their distaste for the arrangement, their teenage years might uncover their true feelings about it. For most parents, divorced or not, the stage of parenting a teenager is an especially tumultuous one. This is because teenagers are at the age where they form their own opinions about life. 

Communication between parents and teenagers is a two-way street. According to experts, parents have to actively listen and speak to a teenager to get them to feel less pressured and communicate better. Although these experts acknowledge that teenagers individuate and separate from their parents, they agree that listening to them will draw them closer. 

In a  post made on Reddit on July 11, 2023, the combination of the effects of a 50/50 parenting arrangement and a communication gap with a teenager led him to miss a vacation with his mom. Continue reading to see how the teenager missed a chance to go to Hawaii with his mother.

A Reddit user who was distraught about being left out of his mom's vacation plans took to the platform to seek the opinion of fellow Redditors. The 16-year-old started the post, noting that he was the only child of divorced parents.

"There needs to be a little context so let me explain. I'm an only child (16M) with divorced parents. My mom has a guest (another cousin of mine) who is staying in MY room from June to August. I was with my dad on a Sunday where my mom texted me to bring clothes to her house," he wrote.

"I asked why and if she had any plans. She said not to worry about it and that it shouldn't matter if she has plans or not because it's her week to have me as my parents have 50/50 custody over me. She also said that she's on vacation time from work but never mentioned about going anywhere. And although in the past she thought of going somewhere, she mentioned that it might be local. "

The Original Poster (OP) revealed that he couldn't go to his mom's because he had a cousin staying in his room and couldn't sleep on the couch. Also, he wanted to be certain of her plans, as he had made plans with his cousins. After some back and forth with his mom, he decided to go to her place, but she declined his request to be picked up. 

"I am now at my cousins and after looking at things on sale on Amazon, I notice delivered packages a few days earlier (me and my mom share the same account), and they were supplies for the beach. I check my mom's location, and she is in the middle of Honolulu, Hawaii."

Readers flocked to the comment section of the 16-year-old's post to drop their two cents. While some had opinions on the post, others directed more questions at him to fully understand the relationship between him and his mother.

"Do you usually have a good relationship with your mother ? Did she asks you before letting your cousin stay in your room for 3 months ? Where did you sleep in june when your cousin was here?" one Redditor commented.

"in addition to having the same questions thatr/AITAfangirl asks, I also wonder why cousin is staying…did something bad/difficult/traumatic happen that means they need some extra support and care?" another Redditor added in support of the first comment.

"NTA, Yes, it seems like there is a lot of information missing. How old is the cousin who is staying in his bed and why is that cousin staying there for 3 months? Maybe mom needed him to watch the house and/or babysit said cousin. If mom gave no indication that they would be going somewhere perhaps it was never Mom's plan to take him with her. She gave away his room for the entire summer but still expected him to stay there sleeping on the couch," another wrote.

"NTA for wanting to know what your mom had planned before you canceled your plans and went home to a house where someone else is sleeping in your bed. I assume it was her idea, not yours, to invite your cousin to spend 3 months sleeping in your room," wrote a user. "Leaving you behind because you didn't want to come home under these circumstances is pretty punitive. Your mom is weirdly controlling. I have kids your age and I wouldn't do this," the user added.

What do you think of the mom going on vacation without informing her son? How would you react if you were in the OP's position? Will you go on a vacation without informing your child? Let us know and — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family members, and other people you think would have an answer!