Strict Father Repeatedly Threw Teen Son Out Of The House While Growing Up Before Turning Up At His Home Years Later To 'Apologize'

Sep 11, 2023

Without a doubt, parenting requires a lot of patience as well as some discipline. However, where does one draw the line when the latter seems more prevalent and on the extreme side? Growing up, Reddit user u/tway1213 had a complicated relationship with his father. It had to do with his dad’s mode of discipline, and it caused quite a rift through his trajectory to adulthood. 

Back in 2020, the Redditor shared the story of how his dad showed up at his house years after throwing him out of their home. Karma seemed to have caught up with his dad, but the Redditor gave the situation a second thought and asked other social media users what they would do in such a situation.

His story began with a background insight into how he grew up with the hyper-disciplinary nature of his father. The man noted that his dad matched the stereotype of Asian parents and their disciplinary nature when it came to their children’s academic results. He noted: 

“I’m asian, and as the old stereotypes for asian fathers go, he used to be super strict ab(out) marks.” 

The original poster (OP) relayed that grades mattered a lot to his dad, and anytime he scored anything below 70, his dad would kick him out of the house. This mode of punishment had to do with other issues like being late to class or arriving home after the designated curfew. 

The OP shared that no matter how much he pleaded with his father, he would always be thrown out and given a sleeping bag to lay outside. He added: 

“It didn’t matter what the weather was, it could be snowing or raining and he would still send me out.”

The Redditor stated that he had no choice but to sleep on the streets until 16, which was when his friend allowed him to stay at his place whenever his dad chased him away from home. The man noted that all the time his dad threw him out of the house, he would return to apologize, and his dad would then let him back into their home. The cycle continued until the Redditor turned 18. He wrote: 

“He kicked me out at 18 and I didn’t come back home. I stayed at my friends place and worked everyday until I had enough to pay for schooling, and haven’t talked to my father since. I’m 29 now and got a lovely wife and a kid on the way.” 

The tables appeared to have turned a few days before the OP made his revealing post. He recalled how his mom passed away, and his dad came around to his place some days later. He noted, “... my father came to visit to apologize for everything that went on when I was younger.”

The Redditor noted that he was quite moved by his father’s words as it felt sincere. This was until he remembered “that he lost his convenience store about 7 years ago and his pension had gone to sh*t."

The Reddit user stated he then asked his dad why he was really at his home, and the latter pleaded with him to allow him to stay at his house. The OP continued: 

“I went inside, grabbed a sleeping bag, and threw it on to the lawn and went back inside.” 

However, his wife disapproved of his actions. She felt the OP needed to let things go, noting that although his father was “tough,” he always let him back into the home. OP’s friends also frowned at his actions, telling him that he was “just a 'disrespectful son who couldn’t see what his father was trying to do for him.'”

All those insinuations made the OP think about it all as he weighed his response to his father’s request. In an edit, the Redditor mentioned that his dad had been reaching out and sending money as a form of reconciliation. He stated that the money amounted to $1,500 and had been left untouched. He noted that he might just end up giving it back to him at his mom’s wake. 

Many Redditors shared their two cents as they agreed that he was NTA. One user penned, “You have an abusive father.” Another wrote, “He shouldn’t expect anything different than what he dished out.” Someone else added, “You are justified in refusing to help him.” One person advised, “NTA but for sure give him the money back.”

More Reddit users shared their thoughts, mirroring a general agreement in the comment section that the poster’s father did not treat him right. Someone relayed, “Your father only tried to make amends when he needed something from you …” 

Some people believed that the Redditor should return the money and sever ties with his father. One person advised, “Give him the money back and wash your hands of him.” Another chimed, “He scarred you and then only reached out when things were looking down.”

Do you think the Redditor’s father faced karma? Would you act differently if you were in the OP’s situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to others.