Stepmom Slammed After Allegedly Fat-Shaming Her Stepdaughter For Wanting Cake On Her Birthday

Jul 25, 2023

Getting cake for your children's birthday has been customary for many people in the country. The idea of blowing your candles and celebrating it with all your kid's favorite food means a lot for children, which would eventually be part of their childhood that they would recall when they grow up. 

However, one kid's childhood memories might be tainted forever when her stepmother seemed to have forced her to stop getting cake in exchange for a "healthier choice."

Taking to the AITA Thread on Reddit, one stepmother wondered if she was in the wrong for suggesting her stepdaughter get low-fat ice cream instead of a cake for a "healthier" option for her birthday. 

"I (34f) have two boys (10m and 8m) and my husband "Dirk" (40m) has a daughter from another relationship "Gwen" (just turned 6f). We are a healthful household and we teach moderation and controlling how much we take when we have treats. We are also very active and every day strive to get the boys moving," she told the thread. 

Her stepdaughter, Gwen, visits their house twice a month; and as much as the Original Poster (OP) wanted to inculcate healthy habits in Gwen, her mother has the exact opposite attitude as hers. 

"In all honesty that woman's blood type is probably ketchup. Similarly, Gwen is about 20lb heavier than a 5 year old girl is supposed to be," she described. With the way how Gwen lives when she's at her mom, it could be said that it's a stark contrast to the way how her eating habits are in her stepmother's home. 

Keep on reading to learn more about what happened and whether or not OP was really in the wrong for forcing her stepdaughter to ditch the cake on her birthday. 

Per OP, it made her sad for Gwen's health, which is why they taught her more about getting healthy and being active. 

"We have the boys play with her so she's getting active, and we make a distinction between foods that are healthy and ones that aren't. When I see one of the kids reaching for a "treat" food in the pantry I'll ask "Would you like to make a healthier choice?" And Gwen is really getting it, she's always going for better choices now and is also asking for fruit at home which is really good," she said. 

However, in one instance, Gwen's birthday ended up being one of their weekends with them. At one point, when they were talking about what cake she wanted to have, OP offered her on getting "the healthier choice." 

"My reasoning is unfortunately she's still getting all that garbage at home, and it's just not good for a growing girl. She agreed and we decided to have some low-fat ice cream so she can still have a sweet treat. It's a brand Gwen loves and asks for every time she's here, so she was happy with it," she told the thread. 

However, when Gwen returned home to her mom, she called OP, furious at what happened. Apparently, Gwen cried upon arriving home because she really did want to have a cake but was forced not to get it because she didn't want to "make a bad choice." 

"She accused me of fat shaming her and her daughter and that I owe her a cake and a big apology. I'm just looking out for the health of a child in my care, but I never said Gwen couldn't have cake and she could have had one if she said she wanted one," OP furthered. 

Redditors were unanimous in their response to OP; she was in the wrong. 

"YTA. She's 5. Give the child godd*mn cake on her birthday and then go for a family walk after. Also FYI, the good choice/ bad choice talk is just going to give her body image issues for the rest of her life," a user pointed out. 

Others were worried that OP's behavior and attitude toward her stepdaughter's health would eventually pose some problems for her growing up, specifically eating disorders. 

"Just based on OP's attitude here, I'm worried this little girl is going to develop an ED by her pre-teens. I can absolutely understand why the Mom was furious. Dad needs to step up and set some hard boundaries with his wife," another echoed. 

"YTA. It was her birthday. Asking her "Would you like to make a healthier choice" is manipulative. You're telling her she's wrong and choosing what YOU want to make YOU happy. You're setting them up for food issues," someone responded. 

Some Redditors also criticized OP for fostering an "unhealthy relationship" between Gwen and food. 

"YTA. You're going to give that girl bad body image issues when she is older. You say she had a "choice" for getting a cake or not, but your comment about picking a "healthier choice" is rooted in shame. Fat shaming specifically. That's not teaching her to be healthier, it's going to give her a bad relationship with food and her body," another agreed.

"YTA. "Her blood type is probably ketchup" is so unnecessarily mean-spirited and incredibly telling. You think you're better than fat people, and you're not. You're just thinner. Do Gwen a favor and stop trying to do her so many favors," a user wrote.

Do you think OP was in the wrong for not giving her stepdaughter a cake for her birthday? Do you agree with the others in their reaction toward OP? Would you have done the same thing if you were Gwen's mother? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones!