Rob Lowe Celebrates 33 Years Of Sobriety & Encourages Others To Seek Out ‘Hope And Joy’

May 12, 2023

Rob Lowe is an American actor, director, producer and podcaster. He rose to fame in the 1980s as a teen idol and member of the Brat Pack. Lowe’s first major film was “The Outsiders,” and he also appeared in “Class,” “St. Elmo's Fire” and “About Last Night….” The star was also notorious in his younger years for his problems with addiction, as well as having relationships with many women. It wasn’t until he met his wife, Sheryl Berkoff, that he was ready to go into recovery and overcome his addiction.

Lowe saw his career take off for a second time when he starred as Sam Seaborn in Aaron Sorkin’s political drama “The West Wing.” The actor was nominated for Primetime Emmy Awards and Golden Globe Awards for his performance. He was on the show from 1999 to 2003. After that, Lowe appeared in the series “Brothers and Sisters” from 2006 to 2010.

The star is also remembered for his role in “Parks and Recreation” and is currently starring in the series “9-1-1: Lone Star.” Despite having such a busy schedule, Lowe makes time for his wife and two sons. He married Berkoff in 1991, and their son Matthew was born in 1993. In 1995, their son John Owen came into the world. 

Getting sober was a huge turning point in Lowe’s life, and he said being a husband and father was a huge motivation for giving up alcohol and drugs. After being married for over three decades, Lowe and Berkoff are still deeply in love, and the actor has shared how much his wife means to him. Keep reading to learn more about Lowe’s relationship with Berkoff and how it affected his sobriety.

Even though he worked in the White House while playing Sam Seaborn on "The West Wing," the actor does not plan on going into politics. According to The Guardian, Lowe said: "I've gotten to believe it's more fun to play politicians than actually be them. I've been lucky enough in 'The West Wing' and 'Brothers & Sisters' to talk about the issues that are important to me with none of the awful mud-slinging or public scrutiny you have in politics."

Lowe is most comfortable on camera and not just in dramatic roles. He has performed in a variety of genres. "In comedy, you have to be willing to not take yourself seriously, you know? I take comedy really seriously, and so to take comedy seriously, you must not, you cannot, ever take yourself seriously," Lowe explained.

The star may not take himself too seriously but still appreciates what he has accomplished. Lowe said:

"I saw PEOPLE magazine had a list of the top 10 teen idols of all time, and I'm on that list with Elvis, with James Dean, Michael Jackson. I mean, I have to say I'm proud of that. It's cool. And there are some of the new guys on it like Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron… Those guys are carrying on the mantle."

Lowe added: "I really, really try to live for today. It's one of my main goals: to try and live in the now. It's why I love the theater; it's why I love golf because it's a discipline. In your golf game, if you're not in the now, you suck. Theatre, it's the same thing. If you let up for a second, you're dead. It's a metaphor for life. It's a muscle: you have to practice living in the present."

When his children were still young, Lowe cherished every moment they had together. He said: "Time is running away from me and that I will never, ever have these moments again. And there's going to come a time when they're not going to want to wrestle with me, and all of those things, so I really, really grab it while I can take it."

Bonding with his kids is very important to the star. However, one thing his sons didn't want to do when they were younger was watch their dad's old movies. When Lowe tried to show them "St. Elmo's Fire," they were not impressed. The actor said: "I can't get them interested in that. I say: 'Guys, you should see this!'" 

Growing up, Lowe didn't have a very close relationship with his own father, but that never stopped him from wanting to be a dad himself. He does everything he can to show up for his kids. When asked if he thinks he is a good parent, Lowe responded: "I like to think I am. I do know I'm very hands-on and very present."

Throughout his life, there have always been obstacles for Lowe to overcome. He has learned a lot about how the world works, and it may have taken a bit of a toll. "You know what you say: you scratch a cynic, and you find a sentimentalist. Because nobody's more cynical than me," he said. "I'm just cynical about, er… You know, I've seen a lot in a short period of life. I know where the road is going almost before the road goes there."

In spite of all of the struggles he has overcome in life, Lowe doesn't waste time wishing things had been different. He told People in 2022: "I'm happy I lived the life that I lived because I have no regrets, but I was super ready to coach Little League, carve pumpkins on Halloween, read books and serve hot lunch on Wednesdays. I really, really loved every minute of it."

Lowe is dedicated to his family and has made many sacrifices over the years. When his sons were still growing up, and Lowe was working on "The West Wing," he commuted every day between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara so he could be there to tuck his kids into bed at night. "They knew I was there and I felt like that was of value," Lowe said, as per PEOPLE.

Before dating Lowe, his wife Berkoff had dated his friend Emilio Estevez. That relationship didn't last, and Lowe and Berkoff got together after it ended. Then the couple got married in 1991, which means they have been married for over 30 years. They are still extremely happy and in love. To celebrate the occasion, the pair found something they each enjoy doing.

Lowe said: "My beautiful wife Sheryl and I are celebrating our 30-year wedding anniversary. Everybody's asking me what I'm planning to do, and I got some ideas. I thought that maybe my wife and I could play 18 holes of golf. On one hand, my wife hates golf, but on the other hand, I love it, and marriage is a compromise. And then I thought the day should involve something my wife likes, so I'm thinking of spa treatments, a nice lunch, and a walk on the beach. And while she's doing that, I'll be playing golf."

Berkoff and Lowe have an adorable relationship, and he calls her "Love Bug" as a nickname. Lowe said about his wife: "I am so blessed to have found the right person, that I found a soulmate and someone who I think is so hot and smart and funny. Great mother, great businesswoman, I am just super, super blessed."

Sheryl changed Lowe's life for the better, and Lowe does not regret a thing. "I had met my now wife, Sheryl, and was attempting my first try at monogamy — which was not really in my nature at the time — and I wasn't able to do it," he recalled. "It made me examine how I was living my life. That led me to getting sober, which led me to changing my life — giving me everything I now have. You have to want to change. I wanted it; I was ready."

In May 2021, Lowe celebrated 31 years of sobriety and posted about the milestone on his Instagram page. He shared a photo of himself on a bike at the beach, and the caption said: "Today I have 31 years drug and alcohol-free. I want to give thanks to everyone walking this path with me, and welcome anyone thinking about joining us; the free and the happy. And a big hug to my family for putting up with me!!"

The father of two shared how getting sober not only made him a better dad but improved his acting as well. "The only way to stay in recovery is to be honest with yourself on a minute-by-minute basis. No secrets, no double life. And you have to get real," Lowe said, as per Variety. "That's what acting is all about — being real and being honest."

With their sons grown and out of the house, Lowe and his wife are able to have more time together. The couple has a strong connection, even after all these years. He sees his long marriage to Berkoff as one of life's "miracles" and said, "She saw things in me that nobody had ever seen before." 

Lowe also said that his wife is one of the only people to have really "seen" him. For this reason, he was ready to give up his partying lifestyle. "I had the feeling that if I was ever going to be able to make it work with anybody, it was Sheryl," Lowe explained. "Alcohol and drugs were only going to make that next to impossible."

Speaking with PEOPLE, Lowe talked about his past with addiction and how much his wife has helped him to lead a better life. "I have gratitude and profound humility for the gifts that I've been given, and worked for, in this world," he said.

Although Lowe has been in the spotlight for quite some time, he has had his fair share of struggles. According to PEOPLE, Lowe found himself relying heavily on alcohol due to deep-rooted issues from his childhood. After watching his mother go through several divorces and moving around constantly, Lowe had a hard time finding stability.

Initially, he turned to acting. "I had a huge fantasy world in my head and then I found something I could focus all my energies on instead of living in the moment, which a lot of times as a kid was sad or uncomfortable," he explained.

However, after finding fame with “The Outsiders,” Lowe began receiving the perks of Hollywood – even if they were inappropriate for someone his age. He claimed that the production studio provided him with beer when he was just 17 years old. “It was just a different world,” Lowe said.

Later on, he wanted to become his character from “St. Elmo’s Fire,” and said, "I became so identified with it — the wild, fun, rock and roll, quasi-debauched with the heart of gold (guy): that's my early twenties in a nutshell."

And in 1990, when Lowe was 26, he learned that his grandfather had a heart attack. Instead of answering the phone call from his mother about the incident, Lowe turned to alcohol.

"I remember going into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror and my thought process was, 'You need to drink directly from this bottle of Cuervo Gold so you can go to sleep, so you can wake up, so you can deal with this,'" he said. "Out of all the things that had gone on in my life, that was the thing where finally I went, 'This is no way to live.' I went to rehab 48 hours later."

Lowe turned 59 in 2023 and has celebrated being sober and in love for quite some time. The actor only has great things to say about his wife of over three decades. "I still think she's the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful, insane, complicated, entertaining person that I know, in addition to being a great mother," Lowe said.

In 2021, Lowe shared with Entertainment Tonight: "Listen, she may have saved my life, really. I mean, she met me when I was at the end of my '80s run of wild boy craziness and she was worth changing my life for. And so I am really lucky that that happened to me. Maybe I had changed it on my own, maybe, but it's a big maybe. And just when I met her, I knew that if I could not make it with her, I definitely could not make it work with anyone else."

Hollywood relationships can be fleeting at times, but there are some rare ones that make it through the long haul and are able to overcome all the challenges thrown their way. Lowe and Berkoff are a shining example of this.

On July 22, 2022, Lowe commemorated a special occasion in his personal life and in his long-lasting relationship with his wife. He went to Instagram to upload a beautiful photo of Berkoff to celebrate the couple’s 31st wedding anniversary. In the caption, Lowe wrote:

“Happy 31st Anniversary, baby. Your love has made my world. You are as beautiful, knowledgeable, fascinating, kind, and hilarious as you were so many glorious years ago. Partners in love for life!!”

To this day, Lowe and Berkoff appear more in love than ever before. On April 15, 2023, a youthful-looking Lowe uploaded a photo of himself and Berkoff on Instagram with the caption, “Date night with my beautiful sweetie!” The pair looked absolutely stunning, and their love radiated beyond the screen.

Lowe tries to be a good example for everyone and encourages others to pursue recovery if they are struggling with addiction. 

He shared:

"And you know, anybody who's struggled or overcome any kind of addiction knows what it's like to face a struggle every day ... it's a daily reprieve as they say ... and it's definitely the thing that changed my life the most. I like to say to people who were out there who were thinking about it, do it. If you're thinking about it, do it. It can be done, and the rewards are just unimaginable — unimaginable."

There’s no doubt that Lowe has faced many obstacles over the course of his life, both in his career and in his personal life. On May 10, 2023, Lowe celebrated 33 years of sobriety. He posted a simple photo on Instagram of himself wading in some peaceful water. The actor captioned his post:

“33 years ago today I found recovery and a tribe that has sustained me on my incredible, grateful journey. My life is full of love, family, God, opportunity, friends, work, dogs and fun. If you or someone you know is struggling with any form of addiction: hope and joy are waiting if you want it, and are willing to work for it!”

Many fans and friends of Lowe left supportive comments on the post, sharing how proud they were of him for coming such a long way and encouraging him to continue to share his heartfelt journey with the world.

One person said, “Thank you for making it acceptable to seek help and talk about your recovery.” Another said, “Congratulations to you! You’re an inspiration! ❤️” Actress Gwyneth Paltrow commented, “We are so proud of you. We love you so much.”

Are you a fan of Rob Lowe? What do you think about his long-lasting marriage and dedication to his sobriety? Let us know, and be sure to send this story along to your friends and family.