People Criticize Woman Who Made Stepdaughter Cry By Forcing Her To Cut Off Her Hair Against Her Will

Jul 21, 2023

Many blended families often find a way to live together in harmony and resolve issues between family members because friction will arise from time to time for various reasons. Meanwhile, sometimes, certain issues can threaten the union of the step-parents. In such instances, only a few things can halt the marriage’s dissolution. One of the issues that can tear a family apart is a lack of respect for boundaries. 

Boundaries are very important in relationships because they help build trust and confidence, which will strengthen the relationship. Boundaries communicate respect and validation. They also help everyone to feel seen and heard. 

When boundaries are not respected, it may give way to abuse of all kinds: emotional, verbal and physical. A lack of boundaries will also result in conflict and the loss of self-esteem. Therefore, in many families, one of the keys to staying together happily is keeping to boundaries. 

While boundaries can be communicated and assumed, it is usually best to communicate them directly so that one or both partners don't violate them. This will also ensure that the children are protected because everyone knows what is expected of them and what they should do or not do. 

A woman invited the ire of the Reddit community on June 22, 2023, when she shared that she made her stepdaughter cry by cutting the girl's hair against her wish. The original poster (OP) asked if she was wrong for doing that because she only did it out of her and her stepdaughter’s best interests. Continue reading to know why she cut her stepdaughter's hair. 

A 31-year-old woman asked Redditors on June 22, 2023, for their opinion. She had been taking care of her stepdaughter and stepson since she married her 34-year-old husband six years ago and had a good relationship with her stepdaughter. 

Her stepdaughter had blonde hair that reached beyond her bottom, and she needed help brushing and styling it for school. OP was not a morning person and thought that her stepchild used products that cost between $10 and $11 too quickly. 

The 31-year-old also disclosed that the 11-year-old insisted on using a wide toothcomb that took time she could use on homework or chores. 

"I decided she had become obsessed with her hair, and I do not want her to become vain, so I decided it needs to be cut," she explained. 

They got to the salon, where she informed her stepdaughter that she would get a shoulder-length cut, and the child burst into tears. After a reluctant hairdresser cut the hair past her shoulders, OP's stepchild collected the braid and refused the McDonald's she was offered. She stayed silent until they got home and then stayed in her room. 

After OP's husband got home and heard what happened, he called his ex-wife to pick up their daughter. He then yelled at his wife for what she did. His ex-wife also went in and bashed the OP. Her husband told her he would have done his daughter's hair every morning, and the products were reasonably priced. 

"He was so furious he said he no longer trusts me around his daughter, and doesn't know if he can be with a woman who he doesn't trust with her. This broke my heart," she revealed. "I didn't mean her any harm, I was just so tired and I'm trying to reduce stress. AITA?" 

Reddit users sided with the stepdaughter and her parents and slammed the woman for what she did. Many were also angry that she didn't inform the girl's parents before making such a big move. 

"YTA YTA YTA YTFA (You're the a**h*le) How DARE you cut her hair and take away her autonomy just because you have decided she is vain? What the absolute h*ll. I am seriously at a loss for words that you even have to ask whether or not this was an asshole thing to do. Shame on you, seriously," a furious Redditor accused her. 

A second user bashed her: 

"YTA. You did this without the child's parents' knowledge or consent. You did it without the child's consent. If the routine was causing problems for you, you should have TALKED TO YOUR HUSBAND. Not arbitrarily decided that you got to choose her hair length. Your husband is right...he can't trust you with her. Be prepared for a divorce."

A third user agreed with other Redditors, as they wrote: 

"If I were the bio mom I'd be filing for custody unless he divorced because clearly she's not safe at her dad's house."

A Redditor shared their own experience: 

"YTA. This was done to me as a child. I'm 46 and I'm still pissed. You don't see children as people and you certainly don't respect your stepdaughter."

Another Redditor believed that OP crossed her boundaries and explained: 

"YTA. You just ruined this kid’s trust and the trust of her mom.

1. She didn't want it done

2. For not talking to her parents

3. If her hair was too much for you to handle you should've asked your husband to try to deal with it then, or talked to her mom to see what could be done about it."

What do you think of this situation? Do you think OP was right to have been concerned that the girl was getting obsessed with her hair? Do you think she handled it properly? Let us know — like and pass this on to your friends and family.