Parents Disinvited From Son's Wedding Due To In-Laws Feeling They're 'Not Their Kind Of People'

Jun 22, 2023

In a perfect world, everyone would get along. But unfortunately, some personalities don’t mix well together, and some people just aren’t meant to be in each other’s lives. This seemed to be the case for one family and their son’s future in-laws.

The father explained how he and his wife live in New Jersey and commute to Manhattan, New York, for work. His son went to college in Pennsylvania and fell in love with the area so much that the father decided to purchase a four-bedroom house there. This way, they would all live in neighboring states and could visit often.

The dad has been paying for most of the house, such as the taxes and maintenance, while the son has been paying for the utilities and his own expenses, like groceries. The son also lives there rent-free. Everything was going well for several years until the son got engaged.

After the son’s family and his fiancée’s family met, it seemed like everyone got along well enough, but that wasn’t the case. The fiancée’s family were not fans of the son’s family and therefore deemed it best that they not be invited to the wedding.

This has resulted in several issues between the families and even within the father and his son’s relationship. Since it seemed like the son was ready to start a new life with a new family, the father acted out in a way that could potentially sever ties with his child forever – selling the son’s house. He went to Reddit in June 2022 to ask users if he went too far or was right to be so upset.

In his Reddit post, the original poster (OP) talked about how he and his wife purchased a home in Pennsylvania for his son to live in and how they pay for the taxes while the son lived there rent-free. Everything went well for a few years until their son got into a serious relationship with his fiancée, who moved in with him. After that, wedding planning became yet another issue.

The family held a small party at the Pennsylvania house to get to know the son’s fiancée and her family more. “We all seem to be getting along well, my wife, daughter and the fiancée go into the house along with her mother and sisters and my son,” OP said. “A few minutes later my wife and daughter come out and are really upset.” They said they wanted to drive back to New Jersey immediately, so OP did just that. Once they got back home, OP found out that his son’s fiancée and future in-laws did not want them at the wedding.

OP explained, “According to what I was told, ‘We’re not their kind of people.’ I was livid, I called my son and asked him what the h**l this was about. He tells me that her family feels that we are not good enough and will embarrass them at a family wedding and that we are all uninvited from the wedding.”

After taking a week to calm down, OP drove to Pennsylvania to speak with his son in person, only to find the fiancée and future in-laws, who had all moved in, at the house. OP explained he wanted to speak with his son, but the family grew hostile. 

“They tell me to leave their house,” OP said. “I lost it, and told them that they had 30 days to get out. Tell my son I’m selling the house and he could find somewhere else to live with all of you.” OP found a realtor in town and listed the house for sale.

“They call my son at work and tell him what I said,” OP explained. “Apparently they thought that he owned the house.” He continued:

“He calls me and asks why I’m selling his house, I tell him I paid for it along with the taxes on it and it is mine. He was living there rent free, but since he doesn’t want us in his new life, he has to get out.” 

If they didn’t move in time, OP said he would have them evicted but has since wondered if he went too far and asked Redditors for their advice. Many users asked for an update on the situation and wondered if there were bigger issues at hand that could have resulted in the family being uninvited from their son’s wedding.

One person commented, “I want an update on this because it sounds nuts. What kind of people do they think you are? How was your son OK with excluding his whole family? Do you think your son’s been brainwashed by his fiancée? How did he think the house was ‘his’ when he didn’t pay the taxes on it? So many questions.”

Another user said, “I just can’t fathom what ‘we’re not their kind of people’ could actually mean and how OP is not good enough for the people who moved into what they thoughts was OP’s son’s house. Based on what we’ve been told NTA but something seems mighty suspicious to me.”

Who do you think went too far in this situation? Let us know, and feel free to send this to your family and friends to find out what they think, too.