Parents Criticized For Unreasonable Visiting Rules & Using Baby As A ‘Cash Grab’

Jun 08, 2022

Being a new parent can be extremely overwhelming and challenging. While there are plenty of rewarding moments, like getting to spend time with your newborn baby and watch their little personality grow, there are certainly many daily tasks that need to be done along with potentially other responsibilities outside of parenting.

It’s up to parents to decide how they want to raise their children and how much they want to include their family members and friends in that process. Of course, many parents want to make sure that their baby is as healthy and safe as possible, and may even ask anyone who visits the baby to follow some specific guidelines.

This was exactly the case for one 34-year-old mom who gave birth to her son in December 2021. She previously sent out a list to all of her loved ones back in October to let everyone know that she and her husband expected them all to follow a specific set of rules if they were to come visit their newborn.

So, when the mom’s sister-in-law expressed that she wanted to visit, the mom sent her over the list of rules. Unfortunately, the sister-in-law realized that she would not be able to meet all of the requirements – especially the one that involved buying gifts and food – so she said that she would be more than willing to help in some other way. The new parents simply told her no, and have since sparked several issues within their family.

Because of this, the mom went to Reddit in January 2022 to share her rules and ask users if she was out of line for refusing to let her sister-in-law visit her newborn son.

Starting off her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) said that she and her husband sent out a list of rules to their friends and family a few months prior to lessen visits to see their newborn son. “Some rules include – up to date on ALL vaccines – if you feel anyway sick don’t visit,” OP started.

Many of the rules seemed to be catered to keeping the baby safe and healthy, but some seemed like a bit of a stretch for even the average visitor. Some of the following rules included letting OP and her husband know a week beforehand so they could arrange the best day and time for a visit, no smokers allowed and no phone calls or visits between 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.

On top of that, people were only allowed to visit for one hour and weren’t allowed to pick up the baby without consent or offer any parenting advice. “No is no, we won’t explain why,” OP added. Other rules included giving OP a gift card and a gift for the baby from an approved list during a first visit, bringing some type of food or groceries and doing a chore during the visit.

OP explained that the rules were made to keep visits to a “minimum” and prevent any type of “favoritism.” Her 20-year-old sister-in-law goes to college in a different part of the country they live in and is rarely home, so she asked if she could see the baby before she had to go back to school. OP sent over the rules and list of approved gifts and groceries, but there was a problem.

“(She) immediately texted back saying she’s broke and she can do extra chores instead,” OP explained. However, she and her husband agreed that they couldn’t bend the rules for one person, no matter what the circumstances were. The sister-in-law begged for some leniency since she wouldn’t be home again for several months, but OP said no.

“She left this morning and we got multiple texts from my in-laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab,” OP said. “My husband simply replied it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment then told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.”

Since then, OP and her husband have tried reaching out to the sister-in-law, but the 20-year-old wouldn’t reply. This incident made OP wonder if she was wrong for not bending her rules once to let the other woman visit, and asked Redditors for their take on the matter.

Unfortunately for OP, many Redditors were not on her side and pointed out just how outlandish her rules were. One user commented, “Your rules went from zero to 60. Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one.”

Another person said, “OP, grow a spine and just start turning down visits. You saw this list has kept visits to a minimum, turn people down and get rid of the rules.”

A third user said, “Yes, you are using your child as a cash grab. NO ONE is obligated to buy you gifts or takeout. Or groceries. It seems like your friends and family are realizing that you don’t want them to actually bond with the baby or visit because they are family. You just want things. Oh and your house cleaned.”

What do you think about this parents’ set of rules regarding their newborn baby? Do you think they’re reasonable, or out of line? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends.