Oprah Winfrey Reveals She Feels ‘So Disassociated’ From The Baby She Had At 14 Years Old

Sep 25, 2023

Trigger Warning: This article contains mentions of sexual themes involving minors and sexual assault that may be troubling for some readers.

Oprah Winfrey is a business and media mogul generating incredible money. With her name plastered all over her projects, Winfrey has created a thriving empire, bringing fans, fame and fortune.

Winfrey grew up poor in Kosciusko, Mississippi, wearing dresses made from potato sacks and being forced to take the bus with people working for her classmates’ families. Feeling out of place, Winfrey began stealing money from her mother so she could fit in more with her classmates. 

Her mother disapproved of the rebellion and sent her to live with her father in Nashville, Tennessee. Winfrey’s father was strict and wanted his daughter to focus more on her education. She quickly became an honor student and joined the East Nashville High School’s speech team.

Today, she runs a school for girls from underprivileged backgrounds who are sound in mind and show leadership abilities. 

“I wanted to build a school for girls who are like me,” she told People in 2019. 

The school, Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, which is in South Africa, has produced excellent results. In 2021, the Academy produced its first graduate to be awarded a PhD, Lindiwe Tsope, and 90 percent of its graduates have gained admission to Harvard and Oxford. Winfrey calls the girls "daughters," and they fondly call her "Mom O." 

“They are my greatest, deepest joy,” the media personality said. She constantly engages the girls and guides them. 

“They’re the daughters I did not have,” she said. “I never thought that that mothering instinct was something for me. I like babies, but I like them like, ‘Hi baby, okay, now go over there.’ I like children when they can actually speak to me and tell what is the problem. This is how having children was supposed to manifest for me.”

For Winfrey, that is the closest she can get to being a mom. She has no children and is unmarried, although she has been with her partner, Stedman Graham, for over three decades. She has said that she has no regrets about either of her choices, although she once thought about having children after she got engaged to Graham. 

“At one point in Chicago I had bought an additional apartment because I was thinking, ‘Well, if we get married, I’m going to need room for children,’” she said. 

Being a talk show host helped her realize “the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother.” 

“I realized, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,’” the media mogul told People. “I don’t have the ability to compartmentalize the way I see other women do.” 

Winfrey also revealed that her relationship with Graham has lasted this long because they aren’t legally married. “I used to think about this all the time, that I was working these 17-hour days, and so were my producers, and then I go home and I have my two dogs and I have Stedman, who’s letting me be who I need to be in the world. He’s never demanding anything from me like, ‘Where’s my breakfast? Where’s my dinner?’ Never any of that, which I believed would have changed had we married,” she disclosed and added that they would have separated if they were married.

“I have not had one regret about that,” she shared.

Graham has always been by Winfrey’s side, including when a relative revealed her most sacred secret to the world.

Winfrey has been open about being molested for years between the ages of 10 and 14. She became pregnant at 14 as a result. 

“Only my family and closest friends knew” the media mogul shared.  

Winfrey was ashamed and tried to hide the pregnancy until she was seven months gone, and her ankles became swollen. After giving birth, she felt detached from the baby. 

“I saved that baby because I was so disassociated and still do feel such a disassociation. I never felt like it was my baby,” she confessed.

The baby was born prematurely and died in the hospital, which gave her hope. 

“When that child died, my father said to me, ‘This is your second chance. This is your opportunity to cease this moment and make something of your life,’” the 69-year-old divulged.

The weight of that secret never left her, though. She feared being expelled if the school found out and later worried it would damage her reputation and career if the world discovered her secret.

However, the story got out after a family member leaked it to the National Enquirer for $19,000. 

“I felt devastated. Wounded. Betrayed. ‘How could this person do this to me?’" she shared.

Graham was by her side through the ordeal as she wept from Friday to Sunday in her room. He consoled her in the dark room.

“I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this,” he told her.

When the TV host went out, she braced herself for the attacks she thought would come but found out that no one cared. It was then that she began to heal and be free.

“I realized that all those years, I had been blaming myself. What I learned for sure was that holding the shame was the greatest burden of all,” she revealed.

What do you think of Oprah Winfrey’s rise above adversity and trauma? Did you know about her school for girls in South Africa? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to friends, family and Oprah Winfrey fans.

If you or anybody you know is affected by sexual violence, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org. The Hotline provides 24/7, confidential support for you or your loved ones and best practices for professionals.