One Day You're Going To Meet Someone And Everything Will Suddenly Make Sense

Aug 14, 2018

If you want love, you can still have it. Maybe not today, but someday. You don't have to give up because you are too old or too fat or too poor. Those things are not what prevent you from finding love.

Sometimes, the timing is just not right. You have other priorities. Maybe you are finishing your education and that has to come first.

Sometimes, we have bad habits we don't realize are there. Maybe we learned them from unhappy parents. Maybe we learned them from youthful flings that didn't go so well.

There can be tremendous power in learning to love yourself first. For starters, don't assume that your lack of a love life means you are unlovable. Be kind to yourself. Be understanding. Don't accuse yourself.

Take care of yourself and grow as a person. Keep a journal. Learn from the relationships that didn't go so well.

Then, one day, you may run into someone and find yourself suddenly falling in love.

It may feel like kismet, like you were just waiting for this person because this person is the right person and the others were not.

Maybe that's actually true. Or maybe working on yourself is the best way to make sure you are prepared for a healthy relationship.

Take some advice from Madonna and don't settle for second best. Accept that you will be better off on your own than accepting a lousy relationship.

After you set that standard for yourself, you can meet the right person in part because you will be free when you run into them. They don't have to be a dirty little secret that you can't admit it. There won't be complications poisoning the well.

At that moment, the bad relationships that helped you grow, the people who turned you down and all your self doubts may dissipate. You may find yourself enthusing "This is the one. This is the person I have been waiting for my whole life."

But you don't get there by tearing petals off of flowers and saying "He loves me. He loves me not." You don't get there by hoping for Prince Charming to rescue you.

You get there by practicing the greatest love of all first: Self love.

No, not narcissism. No, not massaging your own ego and telling yourself how great you are.

Setting goals. Learning to take care of yourself. Learning to be kind and caring and have good boundaries. Learning to be fundamentally healthy.

Then when you run into someone who is a good fit and is also healthy, you will immediately recognize them as such. You won't wonder if they are secretly abusive. You will just sense that this is someone with their act together and you will know that you are both prepared to do this dance without stepping on each other's toes.

Then the butterflies will be wonderful, not anxiety-producing. You can feel that glow and happily listen to love songs and write silly poetry without dreading the possibility of the other shoe dropping. You won't have to fear that he is secretly married or has some other terrible problem that will kill love before it can grow.

You'll know you could never be fooled like that. You aren't that young and naive anymore. You have become a good judge of character. You know it when you see it.

Forget the drama kings and queens who expect you to cater to their emotional nonsense. Invest in taking care of yourself and building the life of your dreams, one you will be happy with whether you walk that path alone or with someone. Then wait to meet someone who will be happy to walk beside you.

Are you ready to start loving yourself? Do you know a few friends who could use encouragement? Forward this to them!